A Visit From A Krampus Fulfilled Ancient Denton Prophecy

As was prophesied upon primitive bathroom walls and select Laffy Taffy wrappers, A Krampus arrived in Denton yestereve. He flexed his musky, destructive prowess, then proceeded to enslave wayward youth while generously bestowing gifts upon his more cherished. A Krampus then proceeded to fulfill His destiny by unlatching the netherportal...

By Jamie Laughlin

December 6, 2013

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As was prophesied upon primitive bathroom walls and select Laffy Taffy wrappers, A Krampus arrived in Denton yestereve. He flexed his musky, destructive prowess, then proceeded to enslave wayward youth while generously bestowing gifts upon his more cherished. A Krampus then proceeded to fulfill His destiny by unlatching the netherportal to home planet Cleon. Ancient seals were blown. Thunder ice poured. All were consumed.

None of that really matters now.

As our news blog so dutifully reported last night, Denton was absorbed by purple hues at roughly 19:45. The only remaining sign of life is one, solitary bassist. (If anyone can help him find his van, he would be very appreciative.)

Farewell Denton, our sweet prince. May thou icy tomb preserve your youthful beauty.

Photographer Ed Steele bravely walked alongside A Krampus, capturing His deviant wrath.

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