Hey Brosef! Joe Rogan and His Wacky Conspiracies Are Coming to Dallas in July

Are you an angry male who's mad at the world for birthing you during this historic time of striving for gender equity and lukewarm political socialism?

Do you need a place to vent your rage through laughs without earning another 30-day ban from the paintball arena?

Don't worry. Joe Rogan is on the way.

The comedian and popular podcast host is on his "Sacred Clown Tour," and he's bringing his show to The Majestic Theater on July 29, according to Rogan's Instagram page. Tickets are scheduled to go on sale starting at 10 a.m. Friday on Ticketmaster.

If you're asking yourself "Who in the hell is Joe Rogan?" you probably live in a mentally stable dimension where medical advice is obtained from trained professionals with academic degrees that don't have "chiropractic" anywhere on the diploma. You should probably stop reading right now, but before you go, we'd like to know what tesseract is needed to enter your world.

Rogan is a seasoned standup comedian who worked as an actor on the NBC sitcom Newsradio, replacing future star Ray Romano in the role of the studio electrician Joe, and hosted the popular reality game show Fear Factory in which people allowed themselves to be buried alive and ate blended horse penises for a year's worth of rent.

Of course, he's best known as the host the popular podcast The Joe Rogan Experience. The streaming music and podcast app Spotify paid $200 million for the show's exclusive streaming rights in 2020, according to The New York Times, and the show has gained popularity among Oakley sporting, alt-medicine advocates who won't admit just how much Limp Bizkit's "Nookie" influenced their development in the late '90s.

Rogan's show attracts an audience of millions that only seems to grow every time an episode courts a fiery amount of outrage, as when he talks about how veterinary medicine designed to attack parasitic worms in animals can fight COVID, trans people are just making cries for attention and wildfires are caused by militant liberals.

The outrage reached such a fever pitch that artists such as Neil Young, Joni Mitchell and Bruce Springsteen's guitarist Nils Lofgren asked Spotify to remove their music from its streaming service. Spotify responded by removing over 70 episodes of The Joe Rogan Experience that contained "racially insensitive language," according to Spotify Chief Executive Officer Daniel Ek. Rogan also posted an apology after a video collection of Rogan using racial slurs on his show went viral, which definitely must have angered more than a few 4Chan users who fight the urge to cry on a daily basis.