Celebrities

Mark Cuban's Greatest Twitter Comebacks

Elon Musk himself.
Elon Musk himself. "Elon Musk at Tesla Factory" by Wired Photostream is marked with CC BY-NC 2.0.
Since billionaire Elon Musk took over Twitter, he's restored banned accounts, including that of former President Donald Trump, tried to implement features that failed spectacularly and embarrassed himself with every unfunny, trolling Tweet.

Twitter can be a toxic wasteland of scorn and hate, but it can also be genuinely entertaining and enthralling. Watching Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, a billionaire himself, create Tweet chains with his fellow rich folks is one of our favorite things on Twitter. Here are the best of the best.
Screenshot from Twitter
Mark Cuban and Elon Musk
Cuban has been on Musk's case since the Tesla founder thought it would be hilarious to literally bring a kitchen sink to Twitter headquarters after buying the platform a month ago. Cuban lightly critiqued Musk's insane idea to give anyone with $8 an unchecked verification check, saying he "spent too much time muting all the newly purchased checkmark accts in an attempt to make my verified mentions useful again." Musk blasted back that the new features seemed to be "working for me" until thousands of users got a checkmark for making their own Elon Musk accounts.

Most recently, Cuban called out Musk for ignoring Twitter's biggest challenge to make "users feel safe" on the platform. Then he chastised Musk for not delivering a "Twitter Bill of Rights" because the platform has "no transparency." That shut Musk up pretty good.
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Former President Donald Trump speaks at the CPAC Conference in Dallas.
Patrick Strickland
Mark Cuban and Donald Trump
Back in the day, it wasn't a challenge to get into a Twitter battle with Trump. The dumbest things could set him off in the wee hours of the morning, causing him to race to his Twitter page to post some rambling tirade with more spelling and syntax errors than an E.L. James novel. Now that Musk has reinstated Trump's account, we can relive all those petty moments and cranky tantrums he used to throw when someone hurt his feelings. Assuming, that is, that Trump breaks his vow not to return to Twitter.

Cuban went tweet to tweet with the former president several times, but a certain exchange in 2012 is worth mentioning because Cuban perfectly closes up Trump's word salad. Trump tweeted right at Cuban that he was "trying to use me to get publicity for himself" and followed it with a string of trivial tiffs about how his reality TV show did so much better than Cuban's reality show and ... well, you know the drill. Cuban shut down the discussion.

"Come on @realdonaldtrump, you need to do better with the insults.This reminds me of when I used to pick on you when we were kids in Kenya."

Screenshot from Twitter
Mark Cuban and Mark Davis
Right-wing radio host Mark Davis tried to pick a fight with Cuban in 2020 over the wave of kneeling protests during the National Anthem at the beginning of pro sports games. It spilled over the following year when Cuban decided not to even play the anthem before Mavs' home games, but Cuban didn't have to say much to put Davis in his place.

Davis remarked at the restart of the 2020 season that he was looking forward to the "Mavericks home stretch" but he also vowed to pull his support "the minute one player kneels during the anthem, I am OUT."

Cuban crafted the perfect response: "Bye."
Mark Cuban and Sen. Ted Cruz
It's nearly impossible not to reply to Cruz's tweets on Twitter. He infuriates the way some musicians make their fans swoon or headbang. Go ahead and try. Your hand will stick to your mouse like it's glued on until you inevitably hit "tweet." 

Cuban really let Cruz have it in 2020 when the Texas senator bragged that he wouldn't be watching the NBA finals because of the league's stance on players kneeling during the anthem. Cruz included the hashtag "#GoWokeGoBroke." Cuban expressed that he found Cruz's rooting for the failure of a major sports league that employs thousands of people more than a little insulting, saying "This is who you are @tedcruz."

Cruz replied that he supports all three of Texas' NBA teams but thought that Cuban was trying to "turn every game into a left-wing political lecture." Cuban snapped back, "You are so full of shit. You haven't watched a game of the finals, how would you know what is being said or done? Since when is a desire to end racism an insult to anyone or political?"

Screenshot from Twitter
Mark Cuban and Lil Wayne
Cuban doesn't tussle on Twitter just with political movers and shakers. Sometimes he has a friendly rivalry with famous fans of other NBA teams. The short but memorable one he had with rapper Lil Wayne over the summer spilled over into heated territory for a bit.

When the Mavs played the Phoenix Suns in the Western Conference semifinal (which Dallas won, by the way), Wayne, who is friends with Suns point guard Chris Paul, fired the first shot by calling Mavericks point guard Luka Dončić "a ho" during the fourth game. Cuban responded with a picture of Lil Wayne sitting courtside under the caption, "It's a shit show, put you front row," a stinging reference from one of Wayne's own songs, "Uproar."

Nothing says "Oof" more than having your own words thrown against you, and when their your own lyrics, it feels like a swift kick to the gooch. 
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Danny Gallagher has been a regular contributor to the Dallas Observer since 2014. He has also written features, essays and stories for MTV, the Chicago Tribune, Maxim, Cracked, Mental_Floss, The Week, CNET and The Onion AV Club.

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