Why do we lease a Mercedes or Beemer? To impress the valet, of course. Most of us, indeed, consider it acceptable for restaurants to park the hottest cars in highly visible areas, as if the sight of a Ferrari will make the couple cruising past in an '87 Corolla slam on the brakes and say, "Let's go mingle with the wealthy folks." The staff at Javier's takes the concept a step further, providing stellar valet service for guests driving expensive vehicles while shunning--in the most subtle manner--the rest of the population. Walk out of the restaurant on a busy evening and ask them to bring your 7 Series around, and they hastily pull it within an inch or two of your kneecaps. Call for your Infiniti--or lesser vehicle--and expect a bit of a stroll.

The Dallas Morning News recently mentioned that it visited this downtown establishment and was dismayed by the fact it wasn't jam-packed with patrons. They point out that they showed up at 6 p.m. Now, far be it from us to call the folks at the daily paper idiots, but, ah, do you think you could try going to a bar after the sun goes down? The last time we were in CT, it was hoppin': both levels full of folks enjoying the ambience (dark woods, big tables), the cold beer and the downtown scene. It reminded us of a typical neighborhood bar in Chicago, something you don't see much of in Dallas. Oh, yeah, it also has a little side room upstairs for folks who want to play Golden Tee but don't want to keep bumping into patrons when their $30 putts come up short. Which makes it extra awesome.

Before we go any further, you should be aware that a stay at Hotel ZaZa is not cheap. Rooms range from $245 to $295. Suites start at $350 and end at a price where your credit card company gives you a courtesy call just to make sure someone hasn't stolen your Visa. But money's no object when romance is involved, right? OK, don't answer that. Just know that should you check your sense of fiscal responsibility at the door when you check in, you and yours will be treated to a glamorous weekend on L.A.'s Sunset Boulevard. Sure, sure, you'll still technically be in Dallas (snugly nestled in Uptown, to be exact), but as soon as you hand your keys to the valet, you'll never know the difference. The cuisine is top-notch, thanks to chef Stephan Pyles' Mediterranean-inflected Dragonfly. The rooms are luxurious yet lived-in, like you're house-sitting for a well-to-do friend. The staff become your own personal assistants during your stay, ready and willing to do whatever, whenever. The Urban Oasis (aka the pool) even makes Dallas summers bearable. For an added touch of El Lay, there's a better than good chance that you'll see a star or two. (Ozzy Osbourne, Christina Aguilera and Jamie Foxx have all stayed there, and that's just off the top of our head.) It's a great way to get away without getting away, if you know what we mean. The perfect place for romance. And exorbitant credit card charges.

Readers' Pick

White Rock Lake

Located in the old Margarita Ranch spot, Stolik is everything owner Marie Grove said it would be. It's understated, sleek and stylish, with great food (try the foie gras--trust us) and a wonderful ambience. But we especially loved hanging out at the bar with Glen, the 'tender who introduced us to new brands of sterling vodkas and regaled us with tales from the other highfalutin Dallas places at which he's worked. Margarita Ranch you always visited for the Dallas cheese. Stolik you'll return to because it pulls off the hiptown vibe thing with ease.

You've done the warm-up. You've done the workout. Now it's time for the cool-down. And Down, once again, is your best bet. After a night of drinking/dining/dodging bullets in Dallas, you've grown weary. You've watched various Barbies hook up with various Kens. You've spilled various drinks on various designer jeans. And you've rubbed elbows till they're damn near raw. So now make your way over to Down, where you can sit, relax and actually enjoy your drink--instead of cradling it in your hands in fear of sloshing out what you paid too much for in the first place. The nightlife can be brutal, but Down can pick you up.

We work hard here at the Dallas Observer. We're constantly working. It's work, work, work. Yup, that's us. That's the service we provide to you, dear reader. The problem is--at least for the singles among our number--that doesn't leave us much time to get out there and meet people. Which, in turn, means that our chances of procreating are decidedly less than the rest of the population. Some might say that's because the majority of the people who work here are losers who seldom shower, but that would be unfair. (The losers part, anyway.) Ah, but there's hope for us yet. No matter how pathetic we are, even we can still get a date through It's Just Lunch. Tell them what kind of time you have and what kind of person you're looking to meet, and they'll hook you up. But some advice: Shower first. It helps, believe it or not.

There's an undeniable appeal to the idea: Skip work, head to a bar and watch the day sip away into a pleasant haze while others toil away in cubeland. For this purpose, nothing beats Sevy's Grill. It's a bright, upbeat space with a steady flow of daytime regulars--including fellow slackers. Daytime bartender James Pintello keeps the conversation flowing and stirs up some impressive sipping drinks. Psychologists and HR professionals give lip service to the value of a little downtime, but they're generally referring to time- and money-consuming vacations. Before a trip, harried business professionals spend hours clearing projects off their desks. Upon their return, these same harried professionals catch up on hundreds of e-mails and calls and other issues. It may be that a "doctor's appointment" spent at Sevy's is all the downtime a person really needs.

Don't go there to see it. Just open your eyes and turn your head half a nod next time you pass, usually on your way to or from the City Hall area on Young Street, just across from First Presbyterian Church of Dallas: In freezing cold or baking heat, the downtown derelict population camps out on the 500 block of Dallas' ironically named Park Avenue, a dirty valley of brick and broken glass near a popular soup kitchen. They throw down cots and sleeping bags (or just their own bruised, grimy bodies) on the sidewalk, sleeping it off in an ether of booze and piss. Write your own moral.

Maybe that sounds like a give-up to you, the ultimate no-shit statement. (Or perhaps you would have preferred our initial answer: anywhere that leads out of Dallas.) So let us explain. We have a 1-year-old kid who didn't sleep the first, oh, 11 months of his existence, and when he did sleep it was only in his car seat, which meant plenty of days and nights spent rolling through this town looking for something to entertain our eyeballs to keep them open. No matter where we were, we always ended up circling the lake. Always. Didn't matter what time of day or night. And it wasn't just round and round and round till he woke up; that would have gotten old. No, we cruised up the side streets and down the roads to nowhere, through the Lakewood neighborhoods dotted with historic homes and fields that led to horse stables and every other nook and cranny we could find. Spend enough time over there and Dallas starts to look a whole lot prettier, because it looks like another city--one with a view. Even now, when the kiddo's wide awake, the family cruiser will find its way over to Forest Hills or Casa Linda Estates or Lake Highlands just to see what's happening in a neighborhood so much prettier than ours and yours, unless you're lucky enough to live in a Dallas with scenery.

Readers' Pick

White Rock Lake

Hattie's American Bistro has become a citywide hot spot, drawing people into Oak Cliff who have never been farther south than Armstrong in their lives, along with an adventurous crowd of veteran cosmopolites and metrosexuals. Eventually they all pour out onto Bishop Street for cigars and shrieking, wandering off down the block to explore Ifs Ands & Butts Sodapop and Tobacco Store, or the Oak Cliff Mercantile, a cool antiques and salvage place that stays open late, or whatever. Every night a few discover again that the cleverly named Venetian Blinds is actually an old place that sells Venetian blinds. All in all, it's a quiet, amiable, sophisticated corner of the city.