J. Jovan Philyaw -- a Hanna-Barbera creation, perhaps? Or maybe the manufacturer of mom jeans? A musk you get at Wal-Mart? No, silly -- you remember Jeffry Jovan Philyaw, who also goes by his secret identity J. Hutton Pulitzer: He's "one of the most prolific independent Inventors of modern times." He created the CueCat, silly. All together now: Cue. Cat. And, yup-yup, he's back with another invention.

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And, to tell you the truth, we have no idea what the eff it is. Sorry, but we can't make heads or tails of the patent Jovan and David Kent Mathews, both still at LV Partners on Cole Avenue, were issued on Tuesday by the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office. Here's the really short version: "Method and apparatus for opening and launching a web browser in response to an audible signal." But keep reading, and it gets less decipherable with every syllable. Look out, Robert Decherd. S'all I'm sayin'. --Robert Wilonsky