Impeached AG Ken Paxton Blasted as 'Skanky Whore' in Roadside Signs

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, the subject of an ongoing impeachment trial in the Texas Senate, has worked hard to brand himself as a devoted family man. There's just one teensy problem with that narrative: His alleged affair.

Scandal has enshrouded the embattled AG throughout his tenure. He's faced felony securities fraud charges and accusations of bribery and abuse of office — not to mention claims that he supposedly jet-setted to the Caribbean and Europe using more than $90,000 in taxpayer money and bogarted a $45 coconut-dusted Christmas cake meant for his office staff to share.

But perhaps the biggest scandal of all is one touching on Paxton's sex life. (Yes, we regretted typing that immediately.)

A brief explainer for the uninitiated.

Paxton is believed to have had extramarital sexual relations with a woman named Laura Olson. Olson once worked for a GOP state senator. The attorney general happens to be married to a different state senator, McKinney Republican Angela Paxton.

Oops.

Paxton's reported dalliance with his non-wife lover also allegedly saw him pulling strings to get her hired by the campaign donor at the center of the AG's impeachment case. Olson was expected to testify on Wednesday but ultimately did not take the stand, reportedly because she planned to invoke her Fifth Amendment right to not incriminate herself.

Despite us damn near choking on all this crazy-thick smoke, Paxton and his cronies insist that no, there isn't a fire. Proponents have tried to rally support by erecting (wink) signs on the sides of roads snaking through Texas' stunning concrete/prairie-chic landscape.

Cue the trolls.

Under a sign that reads "Texans support Attorney General Ken Paxton," someone plastered their own creative banner. A user on X (the social media site formerly known as Twitter) posted a photo of the dueling signs on Wednesday.

"I'm a skanky whore. Send money," the troll's message reads in a font that resembles the typeface on the covers of Dr. Seuss books.

Someone else then replied on X with a picture of another snarky placard they said stood in Allen. This time, the sign was both smaller and, truth be told, lower-budget — but its to-the-point messaging was effective all the same.

"Fuck Ken," the sign declared in spray paint.

Here’s another one in Allen pic.twitter.com/Pyym7BlSxk

— Michelle (@Michell71078349) September 13, 2023

Not to be outdone, it appears that the Seussical troll went back for more blood, installing alternate posters next to the support-Paxton sign.

"Halp! Halp! Give me money!!!!!" demands one.

"¡Send! ¡Moneeeeey!" begs another.

And, beneath that: "I'm goin' down in flames!"

Here you go pic.twitter.com/NTfgCT1Akb

— Michelle (@Michell71078349) September 13, 2023

Ah, Texas. Just when we start to think you've turned redder than Satan with rosacea, guerilla tricksters with a little time on their hands emerge to make things more interesting.