The Super Bowl went badly for Dallas. Now why was that again?

Super Bowled Over: The day after the Super Bowl, half the coverage in The New York Times was about the wibble-wobble section in the stadium. Not good.

More than 1,200 through-the-nose-paying ticket-holders were denied access to their seats because of fears that the temporary seating section where they had tickets might be unsafe.

NFL officials suggested at first that it had to do with proper escape routes in case of an unspecified catastrophe. But on the Monday after the game, the NFL was telling the Times the unsafe issue had more to do with an absence of "railings, of tightening risers, steps, things of that nature."

Yeah, steps. You just pretty much have to have steps. Some of your younger fans might be able to jump a fair distance, but what if you get a geezer up there? Then you're looking at a body toss.

Please allow Buzz to explain what's really wrong with this whole picture. Buzz, you should know, has been around the track a couple times in the newspaper business.

Buzz knows one thing: You never want to allow a good sports story to be intruded upon by reality. There's a reason why people at newspapers refer to the sports staff as "the toy department."

Sports stories, to be any good, need to take place entirely in the realm of fun and fantasy, where sports fans want to be. Do you think people would pay $3,000 a ticket to hear a lecture about railings and tightening risers?

You don't want real stuff happening. No ice crashing off the stadium roof smashing people's shoulder bones. Likewise, no people freezing their socks off waiting for trains that are never going to arrive; no icy streets or bus drivers who don't know how to drive a bus in the snow; no striking cab drivers.

In any good sports story, you do not want to have to talk about sports fans being denied access to the sporting event because some Nervous Nelly was afraid their seats might collapse and kill them all. You really do not want to talk about or even mention real actual death.

Buzz knows that Jerry Jones knows all this. He is one of the world's smartest and most successful sports promoters. He would do anything to have kept all this bad reality out of the biggest sports story of his life. Buzz can think of only one reason why Mr. Jones suffered this fate, and for that Buzz must harken back to a brief stint when we were employed in the religion section.

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Jim Schutze has been the city columnist for the Dallas Observer since 1998. He has been a recipient of the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies’ national award for best commentary and Lincoln University’s national Unity Award for writing on civil rights and racial issues. In 2011 he was admitted to the Texas Institute of Letters.
Contact: Jim Schutze