Waiting in line for barbecue is a Texas rite of passage. Only in these lines do we, especially the non-native Texans, fully grasp the Lone Star State's appreciation of a worthy cut of smoked meat. And when you consider the blood, sweat and time it takes to smoke the perfect brisket, waiting in line for 20 minutes (OK, maybe longer) doesn't seem so outlandish. But former NFL quarterback and current Cowboys commentator Babe Laufenberg is not down with barbecue lines, and he Tweeted as such after a visit to Lockhart Smokehouse in Bishop Arts yesterday.
I don't get waiting in line for bar-b-q. Big line at Lockharts in Bishop Arts. No food is worth a wait. Has to be a better business model.— Babe Laufenberg (@BabeLaufenberg) May 30, 2017
Interesting perspective, Babe. Perhaps Lockhart should go for a less popular business model, one that doesn't yield long lines of adoring fans? Solid business advice, Laufenberg. If lines are indicative of a poor business model, I've got an investment opportunity for you, and it'll have you swimming in Chili's Triple Dippers.
The replies to Laufenberg's lunchtime lament ranged from defensive to mocking to the Twitter equivalent of an Olympic-sized eye roll. Lockhart briefly defended itself, noting that, "well, we only have 1 and 1/2 pit so it's not so much the appearance of scarcity it's cooking what we can."
Others noted that Laufenberg may be in the minority on this one. Twitter user @13KP13 made a good point: "I don't get waiting in line to get into a football game. Big lines at AT&T Stadium. No game is worth it. Has to be better business model?"
Another Twitter user suggested that Laufenberg might be a bit out of touch with, well, anyone who lives well below an NFL salary. "Someone sounds a bit 'Hollywood,'" @ubersamoyed opined.
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In later tweets (Babe spent more time tweeting about the line than he would have spent standing in it), Laufenberg explained that Lockhart and Bishop Arts are great and all; he just doesn't like "wasting time." And then came Babe's hot barbecue tip:
To all my bar-b-q followers out there. Enjoy. A better way? Make a 7:00 reservation @IIIForksDallas. Red wine will be in hand at 7:01.— Babe Laufenberg (@BabeLaufenberg) May 31, 2017
And there we have it: Babe's idea of good Texas barbecue is an expensive North Dallas steakhouse.
Here's a pro tip, Babe: You can order a beer from Lockhart's bar to sip while you wait in line. But then again, if you think III Forks is a barbecue joint, maybe you should stick to $49 New York strips.