Cheap Bastard

Rusty Taco: Get Your Mex Fix With a Side of Posers

Rusty Taco. It's not only what the neighborhood cat lady calls her womanly bits. Now it's also a place you can eat!

On Greenville at University, that old Just Brakes location is now a swank-ass taco stand with like 30 tables of shaded patio seating. And beer and margaritas.

And hey, ladies: if you have a raging case of the stink cooch and you need multiple bags for douching, this is the place. The line here is like a Sam's Club value pack of douchebaggery. Business dudes in button-downs with "I've been boating! Or golfing!" sunglasses tan? Check. Groups of SMU freshmen comparing single-digit SAT scores and trust funds? Check. Skinny bitches saying shit like, "Do you want to shaaare one taco?" Check. Punk-ass hos like me judging you? Check.

The menu at Rusty Tacos is simple for a gringo-friendly taco stand, but is pretty long and complicated if you compare it with other fantastic (and I'm using that word with no sarcasm at all) gas station taquerias in town that just offer a few different kinds of meats with sides of salsa, onions, cilantro and lime. At Rusty's, all the tacos are $2 each (cheaper than the $2.50 Schlitz they offer). They have nine different tacos ranging from roasted pork to fish tacos. (Never fear, Gringa. you won't find any lengua here. Just the friendly, God-fearing meats.) All are served on homemade flour tortillas.

I ordered three: I highly recommend the picadillo (just ground beef, potatoes and yummy spices). The Baja shrimp taco was reminiscent of Chuy's Baja shrimp taco, only it lacked a key ingredient: jalapeño ranch. The Rusty Taco I had (which was an al pastor taco) was too dry for me and I had a couple hefty, "Is that pineapple? Mouth says no" fat chunks that I had to spit out. The guacamole was way over-salted and my $5 margarita was watered down. But, to be fair, I was there opening week. I'm sure these were just early missteps and that after a few weeks, this place will come together and offer whities some super accessible tacos for way cheap.

Allergic to Ray Bans? Drive to La Paisanita at Park and Greenville. You'll get the genuine article for the same price.

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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade