The Dog Stop 6857 Arapaho Road 469-360-8370
Minutes I waited for my food: 7 Times I cursed the Chase ATM for charging me a $3 fee: 765
When you inevitably get hit with a real hankerin' for the taste of mashed, tubed-up lips and assholes, The Dog Stop has just the stuff you're craving. Oh, don't play like you're too good to eat weird animal parts. I've seen you pound down a hot dog. You'd just rather call it a "hot dog" instead of a "weird leftover meat parts tube." For some reason, we're all good with ordering pork butt, but when it comes to talking straight about what a hot dog is really made of we get all blushy.
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Whether you call it a hot dog or a butt tube, it's fucking delicious when you throw it in a bun and put mustard on it. And the Texas Dog from The Dog Stop is particularly good: Vienna beef hot dog served in a warm, soft poppy seed bun with yellow mustard, chopped tomato, "Halapeno," "Salarysalt" (must be made from the tears of teachers and nurses and waiters) and that crazy Kermit-the-Frog-on-crack green relish. It's nothing fancy (considering it's mostly a mishmash of animal parts and green dye No. 5) and it's not that big, but it is good. And it's only $2.75.
What's even better is that The Dog Stop also serves shaved ice "All year long!" and fruit smoothies. I ordered the Ruby Red smoothie (strawberry, banana and blueberry) and was pleasantly surprised. It was just as good as Jamba Juice, plus they skipped the bullshit cheery banter that those juicistas always insist on. Stop asking me if I want a vitamin boost, juicistas. If I wanted a vitamin, I'd go blow Fred Flinstone. I want a smoothie. I don't want a boost. I'm staunchly anti-boost. Screw your boost. Oh, and while we're at it, Jamba Juice, please rename the Razzmatazz. Who doesn't feel like a pube ordering that?
The Dog Stop is cash-only, but there's a convenient ATM in the same parking lot if you find yourself sans paper money. And it's drive-through or walk-up only; no indoor seating. If you like huffing exhaust of idling cars as you munch on hot dogs, pull up a bench at the one picnic table out front. Otherwise, do what I did: Take your super tasty hot dog into a class at the yoga studio and use it to goose strangers as they yoga. "Downward dog, indeed, bitches!"