As Warner Bros. and JK Rowling finally put away the wands and golden snitches for the last time (while peeling our death grip off the books as we bawl in denial), we're taking a look at the final installment of the Harry Potter franchise.
I was fortunate enough to see an advance screening on Monday of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, and the temptation to scream at the top of my lungs about the film's serious misfires almost broke me. However, I stood strong and gave you guys a few days to see the film wherein "It all ends."
Until JK Rowling finally caves to our demands and writes another series that focuses around underdog Harry Potter characters, the only thing left to do is pick apart the last movie. After all, it's not like I'll ever get to walk into Gringotts and discover a vault full of gold or know what it's like to try a puking pastille.
Sadly, I have to live vicariously through the books and movies -- being a Muggle sucks.
What follows is a list of the eight Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 scenes that were totally different in the book, and made me pick my jaw up off the floor ... and not in a good way (like when Ron Weasley takes off his shirt.)
MAJOR SPOILER ALERT. Proceed with caution.
8. Epilogue Meltdown JK Rowling was cruel enough to leave us with a teaser of what happens to our beloved characters 19 years later.
Naturally, when David Yates decided to conclude the final film with the epilogue, expectations were tremendously high. We were extremely let down.
In the movie, no one cares that Harry Potter (the boy who lived and kicked some serious ass) is standing on platform 9¾, and he doesn't get to explain to his children why everyone has taken notice of him.
Of course, we know in the book that Ron makes a joke about all the peopling gawking because he's extremely famous. Nope, it never happens.
7. Harry Tells Everyone and Their Mom About Horcruxes
In the book, Harry turns down about 10 people, including Aberforth Dumbledore and Neville Longbottom, when they ask him why he has returned to Hogwarts and what he is looking for. Dumbledore specifically told Harry, Ron, and Hermione not to tell anyone about the Horcruxes.
Yet, in the movie, he goes off and tells everyone what he's looking for and why they're so important, like it's no big deal. Sorry, but it's a big deal.
6. The Non-Existent Army of House Elves Led By Kreacher David Yates completely skipped over this in both the first and second movies.
In the book, Harry gives Kreacher RAB's fake locket as a sign of his gratitude for the house elf. From there on out, Kreacher holds the utmost respect for Harry. Kreacher is also the one that leads the house elves into battle during the war at Hogwarts, yet it never happens.
From a movie stand point, we never know what happens to Kreacher. Yeah, yeah, I know we don't have six hours for a movie, but this was important! Kreacher is the only living being left that is connected to Sirius Black, the only living "family" Harry ever had the chance to know -- I'd say that's pretty heavy stuff right there.
5. Dumbledore Has Feelings Too In the book, when Harry visits Aberforth at Hogsmeade and Dumbledore in King's Cross, we see Dumbledore's vulnerabilities when it comes to his family and dreams. He confesses to Harry that he was once quite selfish, but became a different person after his sister Ariana's death.
Does this happen in the movie? Nope, Dumbledore walks around looking like a version of Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty as he performs Jedi mind tricks on Harry.
4. Great Hall Fiasco In the book, Snape and McGonagall fight one another in the halls of Hogwarts, not the Great Hall.
Oh, and Harry never pops up out of a crowd while Snape calls all the students to confess if they know about Potter's whereabouts. (They're all supposed to be being escorted out of the castle.)
Snape doesn't run into Harry while he's in the castle, ever.
3. Nagini Killing Spree
During the movie, it takes what seems almost like an eternity for Nagini to die. What's worse is that Harry, Ron, and Hermione are chasing her around the castle with basilisk fangs.
In the book, Neville kills Nagini, plain and simple. Neville is the unsung hero and he's the only one who ever attempts to kill Nagini because Harry tells him to.
2. Smashing the Elder Wand to Pieces As we get closer to the top of this list, I can feel my blood starting to boil.
Did that really just happen in the movie? Did Harry just snap the Elder Wand in half? He doesn't have a wand now!
As we Potterheads know, this doesn't happen. Harry takes the Elder Wand, repairs his own wand, which Hermione broke, and then places it back in Dumbledore's tomb where it belongs.
This isn't Titanic; he doesn't just cast it off the side into the abyss. Get real.
1. Who the Eff Is Teddy Lupin?
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Tonks and Lupin get married, have a son named Teddy and Harry becomes his godfather. This is critical to know because, given what happens to the happy couple, this brings Harry's story full circle.
In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, we never ever find out about Remus Lupin's son Teddy. Toward the end of the movie, when Harry's standing in the Forbidden Forest with Sirius, James, Lily and Lupin after discovering the Resurrection Stone, Lupin randomly talks about his son.
Don't worry; you weren't the only ones in the theater saying "WTF? He has a kid?" Yeah, he does and you're just supposed to automatically know this.
Don't you feel like a Squib?