She knows the hide-a-key location at the Bush's Kennebunkport compound. She served as the 66th U.S. Secretary of State and escaped with enough energy to teach at Stanford. She could even reveal which animal species Dick Cheney's newest heart was harvested from -- but she won't. She's Condoleezza Rice, secret-keeper.
Rice is coming to town. She'll speak on April 16th, as part of the University of North Texas Distinguished Lecture Series. We don't know exactly what she'll be discussing with Denton's liberal artsy student body, but I'd like to suggest a little pre-party. Bruce Hall kids, this will be your task. Throw a dorm bash, invite 'Leezza to join in, then genteelly hold her legs while she keg stands. (Don't mess up her lovely suit.) Repeat until the national security secrets flow like Lone Star. Tickets range from $20 to $50.