Selena Gomez Can Do Better Than the Peltz-Beckhams

Grand Prairie native Selena Gomez is one of the most successful entertainers in the world, but historically she's been unlucky in love. Following high-profile breakups with fellow artists Justin Bieber and The Weeknd, she’s now involved with her most confusing love affair to date: her friendship with the crown prince and princess of nepotism, Brooklyn and Nicola Peltz-Beckham. The three have jokingly referred to themselves as a throuple on multiple occasions. Joke or not, the situation is no laughing matter.

Make no mistake: We’re not opposed to the idea of Gomez entering a non-monogamous, three-way relationship. She deserves to have double the fun — especially after dating the Biebs during his peak fuckboy era, only to see him marry model Hailey Baldwin a few short months after their break-up. Our issue is that even in jest, we believe our local legend can do so much better than the Peltz-Beckhams.

Brooklyn, the son of David and Victoria Beckham, has made a name for himself by failing to make a name for himself. After being assigned to photograph a Burberry campaign in a move that photographer Chris Floyd derided as a “devaluation of photography,” Beckham went on to further devalue photography by publishing a book of his own photos called What I See. The book feels about as curated as the average teenager’s Instagram, complete with ample mirror selfies, which is a big part of what he sees, obviously.

He went on to have an online cooking show called Cookin’ With Brooklyn, but the equally poor reception indicates another career change may be nigh — though, again, to be fair, his "bizarre" grilled cheese sandwich looks kind of amazing for those times you're drunk and want to get fancy in the kitchen with a jar of mayo and a blowtorch.

While his wife, Nicola, brings a little more consistency to the marriage (she’s had steady work as an actor since 2006), she also brings the controversy. Before their 2022 wedding, rumors were already swirling over a purported feud between Nicola and her mother-in-law in waiting, Victoria Beckham. While these rumors have been repeatedly and fervently denied by Nicola, the legal drama between the Peltzes and their former wedding planners (whom Nicola's billionaire father sued for the return of a deposit) is very real.

We could go on, but the point has been made: the Peltz-Beckhams are embarrassing and Gomez can do better.

This is a woman who still visits her old Grand Prairie school when she's in town and encourages aspiring actors by attending local theater productions. She's also raised massive awareness for lupus after her diagnosis resulted in a kidney transplant. And she's Taylor Swift's best friend, which means she has season tickets to any of her tours, and that is literally priceless thanks to Ticketmaster.

One could make the argument that in terms of attaching herself to an established duo, Gomez has already done better. Her Only Murders in the Building co-stars, Steve Martin and Martin Short, have been collaborating since before she was born yet she manages to naturally fit in. If there’s going to be any talk of a throuple, it should be with Martin and Short. Sure, they’re decades older, but it doesn’t have to be weird. It doesn’t even have to be real. They could simply break ground as the first-ever PR throuple.

There are even couples in Gomez’s circle that seem more on her level, such as Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. Reynolds seems like the kind of guy who would approach you in a bar and say, “Me and my partner like your vibe.” Lively also seems like she would say that. Could be fun!


Hell, even throupling up with the Biebers would at least be more interesting. She already lives in Justin and Hailey Bieber’s head rent-free. Their house wouldn’t be a totally insane next step. It would also be a satisfying subversion of the relentless Selena vs. Hailey debate into which we were all dragged earlier this year. Even a Houston bakery. The only choice worse than Brooklyn and Nicola Peltz-Beckham would be Hailey's uncle, Alec Baldwin, and her fake Spaniard tia Hilaria.

The objectively correct next move for Gomez would be to level up and get with David and Victoria Beckham. Why settle for being just one degree removed from fashion, entertainment and sports royalty? She’s worked too hard to be relegated to the kids’ table.

Between Gomez's endless supply of T. Swift tickets and David Beckham's partial ownership of Messi's team in Miami, they would hold more power than a comic book supervillain.

Jokes aside, we are happy for Gomez. Finding friends with whom you can be yourself, can confide in and cuddle with on a yacht are hard to come by these days. We just hope there won’t come a day when we have to choose between Selena Gomez and Posh Spice.