There's a formula -- there has to be -- that every sports columnist is taught during his or her days as a cub reporter that goes something like famous professional athlete + baseless speculation that he'll land on local sports team = diamond-encrusted gold!
That's OK. When properly executed and delivered in moderation, it can be cute. Fun even.
So it was at first when Texas A&M QB Johnny Manziel declared for the NFL draft. Wouldn't it be wild if the most exciting player in college football became a Dallas Cowboy?
Yes, of course, but it's not going to happen. Because Manziel is widely expected to be a Top 5 pick, and the Cowboys won't get to choose until No. 16 or 17. Because they just paid Tony Romo $108 million. Because if Manziel does indeed have the makings of a successful NFL player, Jerry Jones wouldn't draft him.
Despite the mountain of evidence to the contrary, some are still peddling the idea that Manziel could wind up with a blue star on his helmet. Here's The Dallas Morning News on Friday quoting Manziel saying it would be a "folktale" to play for the Cowboys.
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What he actually told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram was that "it would almost be a folktale in the correct direction," which isn't even a coherent thought.
"We'd have to call that Johnny something else," he added. "I don't know what it would be."
The NFL draft starts May 8, more than enough time to dream up a scenario in which a Manziel sex tape drops Manziel's draft stock to Cowboys territory.
Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.