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If you can't make it to QuakeCon 2006, which is taking place from right now till Sunday at the Hilton Anatole Hotel--and if you can't, maybe it's because you lost your bong or have a job or something totally dumb-ass like that--then you can always watch it here. Because nothing screams cool like sitting in your house or office watching streaming video of other people playing first-person shoot-'em-ups as they compete for $100,000 in cash and prizes. Except maybe watching golf. Or baseball. Or any sport, reality show, celebrity interview...oh, screw it...television. Incidentally, id Software execs, the locals who created Quake, expect some 5,000 people to attend this year's convention. So, hurry over. Now, I gotta go finish this game of Snood so I can get back to playing online poker. (Incidentally, Observer managing editor Patrick Williams totally disapproves of the tone of this item. He has threatened to use his napalm launcher on me, whatever that means.) --Robert Wilonsky