I know how hot it's going to be. It's June, y'all, and I live in Texas. Also, I walked outside and it's balls hot already (It's a weather term. @CBS11Larry knows what I'm talking about), so it's safe to assume that it'll just get hotter today. Because of science.
I could bitch all day about the fact that you people are already posting screenshots of the 7-day forecast on Facebook and it's not even August yet, about hipsters wearing fashion-y scarves and boots and saying, "It's so hot, you guys!" But, why just bitch when I can bitch and also get us all hammered?
Last year, we got you Drought Drunk. This year, we're getting you Fahreinhammered.
How to play Let's Get Fahreinhammered:
Here's the general concept: Anytime someone who's not a professional weatherer uncreatively talks about the weather, you drink. "Y'all, it's so hot today. I can't believe it. Ugh." Drink.
Drink when you hear digits. "I heard it's going to be 104 today." "It's gonna be 108, actually." "Ermahgerd, you remember last year when it hit 100 over 70 days in a row?" (That's four drinks.)
Extra drink if you hear about the heat index for the day. Because the heat index is an asshole.
Screenshot of the 7-day forecast or a car thermostat with a status update including exclamation points or complaints = chug.
And remember, when we're getting Fahreinhammered, it's customary to trap other players by baiting them into telling you about the weather. Similar to the "icing your bro," you can now Fahreinhammer him. Which sounds worse than we meant it to. If you succeed in baiting another player, they must drink double the standard amount. Ex: (You to your friend) "Hey, check out this hot pic on my phone!" (Show them the 7-day forecast instead of boobs.)
Note: by reading this post, you have consented to play Let's Get Fahreinhammered! So you should be pretty drunk by now.