Look, there's nothing wrong with getting blasted on lukewarm green beer this St. Patrick's Day, so long as you're safe about it. We're all adults, and being an adult sometimes means intentionally making questionable decisions in the name of classic American drinking holidays. Go nuts — drink a yard of beer and drunk-text eggplant emojis to your ex. She'll love it.
But on the off chance that you're looking to celebrate St. Patrick's Day differently this year, Dallas bars and restaurants have come up with plenty of creative specials to get you in the St. Paddy's Day spirit. It's not all corned beef and cabbage out there, either — but there is also plenty of corned beef and cabbage, just for good measure.
The Luck-O-the-Doddy Burger
Where: All Hopdoddy locations
When: Thursday only
Sweet mother of Blarney Stone, Hopdoddy's St. Paddy's Day special looks equal parts insane and amazing. A Hopdoddy burger patty is topped with Kennebec fries, green beer cheese, standard veggie fixin's and "sassy sauce" and served on a green egg bun. If you want one of these bad boys, hit up any Hopdoddy location. But there's a catch: Only 55 will be made at each location, which means the early bird gets the green worm. They open at 11 a.m. — may the luck of the Irish be ever in your favor.
Corned Beef at Paul Martin's American Grill
Where: 3848 Oak Lawn Ave., Suite 210
When: Wednesday and Thursday
In what may be your healthiest St. Patrick's Day celebration yet, go full Irish with this $25 corned beef special featuring a house salad, braised corned beef with cabbage, baby carrots and red potatoes.
Corned beef sliders and an Irish whiskey flight
Where: The Second Floor by Scott Gottlich, 13340 Dallas Parkway
For those who want to celebrate St. Patrick's Day like a classy, grown-ass person, The Second Floor is the place to be with corned beef sliders and an Irish whiskey flight featuring Tyrconnell single malt, Redbreast Irish Whiskey and Green Spot Single Pot Still. Those are some fine whiskeys right there — adios, Bushmills.
Irish Creme Macarons
Where: Haute Sweets Patisserie, 10230 E. Northwest Highway
Just when you thought Dallas had reached critical macaron mass, another one of these lovable little morsels comes along. Whether or not macarons are "the new cupcake" is still up for debate, but one thing is certain: These Haute Sweets Irish Creme macarons, made with Irish cream liqueur and a milk chocolate center, are delicious. Indulge responsibly.
The Ivy League
Where: Ivy Kitchen, 5411 Belt Line Road
Finally, a green drink we can get behind. Ivy Kitchen's $10 St. Patrick's Day special is a simple, refreshing cocktail made with Hendrick’s, lime, cucumber and Lillet Blanc. Just think of how much more civilized you'll look sipping the Ivy League instead of chugging beer out of a red Solo cup.
Irish Car Bomb
Where: Kate Weiser Chocolate, 3011 Gulden Lane
When: All month
Unlike it's boozier namesake, Kate Weiser's Irish Car Bomb won't get you liquored up, but it will get you chocolate-drunk. This month-long special is a candy bar made with Guinness brownie, coffee pretzel crunch, whiskey ganache and bourbon gel all layered inside a characteristically stylish exterior. We'll take this over a shot of whiskey and beer any day.
Where: Trinity Hall Irish Pub, 5321 E. Mockingbird Lane
When: Thursday, Friday and Saturday
Make no mistake: Trinity Hall is going to be bonkers not just Thursday but all through the weekend. With everything from live Celtic music to Ceili dance and sing-alongs, this place might as well be the Dallas St. Patrick's Day HQ. It gets so busy here that the Trinity Hall website even features a guide to surviving the mayhem. If you want to go for broke this weekend, hit up Trinity Hall for a limited menu of Irish favorites: Irish stew, corned beef, fish and chips and shepherd's pie. There is no better meal for soaking up booze than a beautifully starchy, meaty shepherd's pie.
Skillet-Style Corned Beef Hash
Where: Public School 214, 3700 McKinney Ave.
When: All week
Public School 214 takes corned beef to the next level with their week-long special featuring braised corned beef slathered in a stout mornay reduction and topped with roasted veggies and a perfectly gooey egg. This may very well be the most gloriously indulgent corned beef dish you'll find in Dallas this week.
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Luck of the Irish
Where: Brick House Tavern + Tap, locations in Plano and Grapevine
When: Wednesday through Sunday
If you feel compelled to drink something cheap and fluorescent green because that's just who you are inside, go with it. Brick House Tavern + Tap's $4 Luck of the Irish is made with Jameson, Triple Sec, lemon juice, green simple syrup and ginger beer, which should keep you in good spirits all weekend.