Things To Do

What to Pack for Texas A&M's Camp Brisket

Summer is almost out, which in many locales means the end is nigh for both camp and barbecue. But this is Texas, when meat-torching season never ends and camping is year-round, presuming meat and fire are available. So it's no surprise that even in January, you can go to meat camp.

And not just any meat camp: Camp Brisket, hosted by Texas A&M's Meat Sciences Department and Foodways Texas:

Camp Brisket focuses on that quintessential Texas smoked meat, the humble brisket, covering topics such as grades/types of beef, types of smokers, wrapping or not wrapping the brisket, and much more.

Attendees will receive direction from professors in the Meat Science Section at Texas A&M, as well as hear from pitmasters from around the state regarding some of their basic techniques.

You'll need tickets for the two-day camp, which runs January 10-11 in College Station and costs $495 for Foodways members, $550 for non-members. But that's not all you'll need. According to this checklist I found in a dusty corner of my brain, you'll also want to bring:

- Monogrammed tongs, to let your fellow campers that you are not fucking around.

- Friends. Seriously. Don't do this alone.

- A toothbrush, for cleaning your teeth.

- Weed, because weed.

- A Costco-sized vat of KC Matserpiece barbecue sauce. Just deliberately remove it from your bag, set it on the table and make no mention of it. No one will talk to you all weekend.

- Jack Perkins, duct taped and bound in your trunk. You don't have to take him out when you get there; it's just nice to know he's around.

- Not a woman you're trying to impress.

- Whiskey. It makes a great baste for your liver.

- A camera! Once you get there, make sure to smash it with a rock because no one wants to see photos of your poorly smoked meat.

- No, not even if you Instagram them.

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Joe Tone
Contact: Joe Tone