Sex

Dallas Is Named US Cheating Capital, and Women Are Helping Each Other Not Get Burned

Maybe he's trying to hook up, or maybe he's following Jordan Peterson. Dallas women are warning each other online about toxic men.
Maybe he's trying to hook up, or maybe he's following Jordan Peterson. Dallas women are warning each other online about toxic men. Peter Cade/Getty
Sometimes TikTok gets it right. Last year, we reported that local TikTokers had declared Dallas a “dating dumpster.” This was not breaking news to us sad singles still dumpster-diving through the local dating pool in search of a fairly decent, hopefully unbroken, halfway good-looking miracle.

And now our entirely anecdotal yet persistent findings are backed by scientific facts. A new study confirmed that the Dallas dating scene is certifiable trash — If you’re looking for an honest partner, at least.

According to a study by a U.K.-based matchmaking site called mydatingadviser.com, Texas is running rampant with cheaters.

In a ranking of 200 metropolitan areas in the U.S. that measured infidelity, Dallas came in first. And it seems that Cowtown is also giving out the milk for free, because Fort Worth came in second on the list. Houston was third.

Now, Austin may be sort of all-around annoying, but it has actually ranked No.1 as the best city for dating by several other studies.

On the index by My Dating Adviser, the most faithful city was Pasadena, California, while Texas’ own Laredo was No. 5.

While we’re generally happy to beat Fort Worth and especially Houston at anything, we didn't expect it would be for our ability to have our cake while eating someone else's too.

The study did not specify exactly what makes Dallasites so shady, but as Chris Rock once said, “A man is only as faithful as his options," and the ever-expanding D/FW area appears to be filled with temptations.

The Dallas Morning News attempted to answer this question by turning to former Cheaters host Tommy Habeeblank for his sociological analysis. Habeeblank told the publication that Dallas residents place a high emphasis on their appearance, which could factor into people's desire to cheat.

“It’s always warmer, and you’re outside more,” he told the DMN. “There’s the way we dress and the Southern sweetness that comes off as possibly flirting.”

Cheaters was a staple late-night program among the all-you-can-eat buffet of bottom-feeding fictionalized reality TV shows of the early 2000s. The series helped people confirm their suspicions by aiding them in catching their partners cheating, then confronting them with cameras and bad acting. The show initially planned to shoot across several cities, according to Habeeblank, but D/FW provided an endless stream of cheaters, saving the production big money.

Without the "service" provided by the long-gone Cheaters cameras, these days Dallas women are protecting themselves and others from potential heartbreak by coming together through Facebook groups to compare notes. Because, as the saying goes, one woman’s trash is probably another woman’s trash as well.

One private Facebook group based in Dallas, called “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” has 11,000 members. The page description says the group's purpose is to “protect and empower women while warning each other of men who might be liars, cheaters or abusers ... ”

The group’s Instagram, which is more recent and has only two posts, shows photos of local men such as one who goes by "Rico." According to the post, Rico "lives a double life," is "abusive verbally and physically," "takes video of sexual encounters with or without consent." Among other dreadful offenses, Rico's "bed is on the floor, doesn't even have a frame or a passport.”

The group’s administrators declined to speak with the Observer, but pointed us to an Instagram story that answered the question, “What types of guys should I avoid here?” The page admins posted, “Basically the whole metroplex, but a lot of the ones posted on here.”

More specifically, the answers also warned about dating athletes, servicemen (“Military, RUN!”) and African men because “you’ll definitely need therapy” after dating "Nigerians or Ghanaians." They also warned against dating professional trainers and men using the dating app Hinge.

Another Texas-based group called “Are We Sharing Partners?” has 1,700 members who joined “to see if your man is running wilder than Britney Spears in 2008.”

Dallas women are protecting themselves and others from potential heartbreak by coming together through Facebook groups to compare notes. Because, as the saying goes, one woman’s trash is probably another woman’s trash as well.

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These Facebook groups follow the tradition of Miami-based website dontdatehimgirl.com, launched in 2005 by Tasha C. Joseph, as a "cost-effective weapon in the war on cheating men." Although the website enables men to respond to posts with a defense, the site has been sued twice by one man who said he was wrongfully accused of infidelity.

Dallas men also have a group called "Are We Dating the Same Girl?"

It has 26 members.

On the other hand, women have also banded together to endorse eligible single men to other women. One page, called "Date Him Dallas," shows women-recommend men such as Sam, a graphic designer and singer, who according to OP Amber is "respectful, polite, funny, intelligent, loving, caring, a great conversationalist, and a perfect southern gentleman."

The page, which appears to have a higher demand for peer-reviewed men than it can supply, might have potential "shoppers" tugging at Sam like he's the last XBox Series X at a Black Friday sale. A survey posted by the group showed that in a sample of 135 voters out of the group’s 756 members, 96% marked themselves as “single and looking" and only 4% as “taken but with guys to post!”

This bleak landfill might explain why Dallasites are turning to hyper-specific dating sites geared toward singles looking for clowns, metalheads, farmers, conservatives and people with food allergies. Even worse, in the pursuit of true love — plus 15 minutes of fame and a lifetime of embarrassment — some North Texans have taken the extreme measure of joining the cast of the upcoming third season of Love Is Blind, which was filmed in Dallas.

And Dallas' surging tastes for polyamory might explain why more people have started openly throupling up, which also makes sense as North Texas couples can no longer afford to pay rent with only two incomes.
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Eva Raggio is the Dallas Observer's music and arts editor, a job she took after several years of writing about local culture and music for the paper. Eva supports the arts by rarely asking to be put on "the list" and always replies to emails, unless the word "pimp" makes up part of the artist's name.
Contact: Eva Raggio

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