If you’re skeptical about this, just take a long look at the comment section of any post on Instagram Reels — one hour on there and you’ll be begging to be put into a medically induced coma; any longer than that and your brain will start leaking out of your ears. It’s all in the app’s terms and conditions.
The latest meme to be pulled from the algorithmic void and into the searing spotlight is something called "girl math." Maybe you’ve seen the numerous posts, but if you aren’t up to speed, girl math is a funny little joke that funny girls started making a couple months ago on Twitter (or as Elon — and only Elon— refers to it, X) and on TikTok.
Girl math is a humorous way of explaining the way women think about their finances to live a life of amazingness. It can be simple — like how when you return something to the store, you’re actually gaining money, or how a cash purchase doesn’t actually count as spending because it technically didn’t leave your bank account in the moment of the purchase.
@ashley.holz The girl math was mathing at the end
♬ original sound - Ashley.holz
Girl math can also be extremely high-level, like how anything under $10 is as good as free, or like how when you spend money on a concert in November but go to the concert in May, it was free because it was a gift from your past self.
There’s also more abstract, conceptual girl math, like the 2 to 4 months you need to factor into your relationship to emotionally disconnect from your partner before you decide to break up with them.
You either get it or you don’t, and if you don’t, well, you’re probably not a girl or can't math, or you’re just super lame and bad with money.
This was all going swimmingly for the first couple of weeks. Girls were laughing, bonding and sharing funny anecdotes; it was exactly like the beginning of the Barbie movie. That is until men ruined it, of course. Some of them just love to bring the good vibes down, you know? Incels and the incel-adjacent really hate girl math, because they hate it when women have fun, because well, they hate women.
It can also be argued that they don’t get our jokes, because they operate under the constant assumption that women aren’t funny because we’re stupid or won't sleep with them or whatever. Regardless of the true intent, the new crop of "girl math" tweets just aren’t funny, and that's truly offensive internet behavior.
These responses to the girl math trend ("girl math is them have [sic] 9 secret abortions and screaming and bragging about having 0 kids" – @Adult man who's never touched a boob) are boring, predictable and lack creativity. If you’re going to be a hater, you should at least be bringing some new, invigorating hate to the table. These are the same type of guys who still occasionally throw the “Why is she out of the kitchen?” joke around. Embarrassing.
Girl math is fvcking 25 men, meet the 26th man, tell him "no sex before marriage" then expect him to stay and be fully committed to the relationship.
— Neo_officiall (@Neo_officiall) September 27, 2023
Girl math is being a non virgin and still feeling entitled to a big and expensive wedding.
Girl math is having a long list of…
The misogynist version of "girl math," or "incel math," if you will, is about what you would expect from dudes who think Steven Crowder is hilarious and a genius. All of their jokes revolve around petty grievances and tired gender expectations, such as the "crime" of not being a virgin at your wedding or the myths about women bragging about multiple abortions.
“Girl math is rejecting a man who still lives with his mom but dating a man who lives with his wife” posted one fussy man-baby from his childhood bedroom. The sense of seething rage is palpable, and frankly weird. Imagine being so miserable that you get mad at a joke that has almost nothing to do with you.
Fortunately, this particular online saga doesn’t end with the Ben Shapiro fan boys getting the last laugh, because women are inherently funnier than men: Not only did we invent girl math, but we also discovered boy math, which has since devastated the male population’s collective ego.
Boy math is the 2008 recession, “being afraid of gold diggers when you only have three socks to your name,” or how 5 feet 10 inches measures 6 feet.
Boy math is buying a brand-new gaming console but not wanting to shell out for a shower curtain. Boy math is the complex process by which you figure out the last time you washed your bedsheets. Boy math is being over 40 and never dating anyone over 25. Boy math is how steak + Busch light = dinner.
Boy math is everything, after all, because men are the architects of the modern world, and look how that’s turned out.
Fortunately, we have a rising number of women in STEM who will use girl math to save the world (since boy math caused climate change) or at least keep us laughing until the bitter end.
@oatmilkoni Replying to @who_cares_blah_ original sound - Shy
