Hokey Hockey

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This is how disinterested we are in hockey this season: We had no idea till Richie said so that the Stars had a female public address announcer. That's cool.

Remember waaaay back when goalie Marty Turco had it all figured out and the Dallas Stars jumped out of the gate as one of the NHL's best teams? Hard to fathom, eh?

Those who follow the Stars closely these days -- both of you -- are big-time bummin'. First off, they lost their third consecutive home game and fell to 1-4-1 in their last six outings with last night's 5-1 loss to the Anaheim Once-Mighty Ducks. Secondly, the injuries are a mess. Dallas played without five regulars Thursday, including captain Brenden Morrow (out until March with severed wrist tendons) and alternate captain Mike Modano (who missed his 18th consecutive game with a hip thingy.) Thirdly, what the %$#@*&?!!!! Have you ever?! Only guy who got a chuckle out of that was a fella named Romo, Tony.

Punctuated by that ghastly gaffe, this has to be one of the lowest points in franchise history -- or, at least, this month. And it comes at the worst possible time: The NHL All-Star Game comes to town January 24. Tickets actually went on sale last weekend, but don't expect to see any Stars among the stars. Dallas had no players voted to the Western Conference starting lineup, and Modano won't be healthy enough to participate. On the bright side, at least that chick Sari isn't still mumbling as the worst P.A. announcer in the history of organized sports. --Richie Whitt