Portillo’s Launched a New Secret Menu … and It’s Wildly Underwhelming

Chicagoans treat Portillo’s like a birthright. It’s the go-to celebratory meal, comfort food after a rough day, the post-Thanksgiving feast and the signature “welcome home from college” homecoming. More than a restaurant, it’s a cultural marker, a rite of passage, and in some cases, a borderline religious experience. Some may have even attempted to rent a cheese fountain for their wedding (cough, cough — there’s a $1,000 minimum). In Gen X lingo, that’s a stan.

When Portillo’s announced it was launching a secret menu, interest was instantly piqued. The chain has done plenty of outrageous things over the years, a chocolate cake shake that topped Eat This, Not That’s list of “Unhealthiest Desserts in America,” christening a sandwich after Pope Leo (a divinely seasoned Italian beef, baptized in gravy and finished with the holy trinity of peppers), and more recently, even tested breakfast.

Perks Payoff

Exclusive to perks members, Portillo’s revamped its rewards program in early 2025. Just for signing up, members get free fries, cake slices for both birthday and half-birthday (they like to spoil you), plus fun surprises like free onion rings when “Travis put a ring on it.” The program is unique in that it tracks the number of visits, not dollars spent, so rewards come faster by simply entering a phone number or scanning the QR code in your digital wallet.

How to Access the New Secret Menu

The secret menu is available only to rewards members and only at the restaurant kiosk, unlocked by petting the head of Pokey, owner Dick Portillo’s dachshund. And what’s on there? A towering triple cheeseburger with three one-third-pound char-broiled patties topped with cheese, mayo, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles and ketchup, on a toasted bun that’s almost too big to hold or fit in your mouth and chili cheese fries. That’s it.

Now, we’re not ones to complain, but as dipped Italian beef and Chicago dog purists, if you want us to deviate from the staples, you'd better make a very convincing case, and this just ain’t it.

Menu Items They Should Add

Skepticism already swirls around Portillo’s rapid Dallas expansion, and the secret menu could have been the perfect opportunity to win over locals with something new. Imagine Italian beef with Philly-style grilled onions and mushrooms. A Chicago pizza-beef mashup with tomato sauce and mozzarella. A serrano-spiked hot dog nodding to Texas heat. Even a nostalgic dessert collab with another iconic Windy City brand — a Rainbow Cone shake, Eli’s cheesecake, or Garrett’s popcorn — would have turned heads.

Portillo’s could have gone in countless directions that were more memorable than an oversized burger and bastardized cheese fries. The classics remain untouchable. The secret menu? Forgettable.

What would you like to see? Maybe it’s time to give them some Texas-sized creativity.