The beer taps are antique Schlitz bronze figurines of pin-up girls. The faux Tiffany lamp shades are gifts from Old Milwaukee. A pair of hockey gloves dangles from a hook behind the bar. This pub is all-American.
The goal of this visit was simple: get food and a beer. This was just a quick pre-game stop on the way to another place.
Ye Olde is known for its tasty pub food, such as not-so-usual classics like Salisbury steak, pot roast and brisket poutine fries.
But there was another dish we were here to see about: the Not Fancy Bologna sandwich. We recently published an article about Cenzo’s in Oak Cliff, where a "Fancy" fried bologna sandwich — with a layer of pistachio butter and a thick mess of dressed arugula — was bewitching.
For those of you who grew up with bologna sandwiches in your lunchboxes, you may experience the pangs of nostalgia hearing this. Others may have a gag reaction. When it comes to bologna, you either love it or hate it. There’s no in-between.
Far From Lunch Box Blues
Turns out, those of us who were raised on bologna sandwiches were, culinarily, ahead of our time. On sticky cafeteria benches of small-town grade schools, while other kids had turkey sandwiches or crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in their lunch boxes, we were inventing ways to improve the one-note texture of a bologna and cheese sandwich. Adding a generous layer of Fritos and pressing down on the Wonder bread with just the right amount of force resulted in a much more satisfying meal. And if a quick check of the lunchbox yielded the exotic alternatives of Doritos or Goldfish, even better. Now, some restaurants have upbranded these sandwiches by tossing slices of mortadella (bologna's sexy European cousin) on a griddle, layering it with cheese or fancy butters and putting it on nice bread. And we're here for it — straight from those sticky cafeteria benches.
You’ll find mortadella on the afternoon charcuterie board in the club-level lounge of The Langham in Chicago. You’ll find it on the breakfast spread of every fancy European hotel from Munich, Germany, to Mykonos, Greece (try thin slices of mortadella with aged Manchego cheese). In Tom Colicchio’s sandwich bible 'wichcraft, you’ll find a recipe for mortadella with grilled radicchio and pistachio vinaigrette. “This is not your mother’s sandwich,” says he.
Ye Olde’s Not Fancy Bologna sandwich is actually a wee bit fancy and certainly hangover-worthy. It's made with several thick slices of mortadella warmed on the grill and held together with melted white cheese. A slather of garlic mayo on a brioche bun pulls it all together. Even better, it comes with a generous side of house-made just-greasy-enough potato chips. Perhaps the best part is that the humble sandwich is served on an old country-patterned English dinner plate.
And a Side of Vodka
You’ll need something to wash down that fancy bologna sandwich. This is where a good bartender is key. Carlos at Ye Olde suggested the Denton County Gold Crash Blonde Ale (the perfect match) and a shot of vodka. Vodka shots with bologna? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.
Apparently, Ye Olde takes vodka quite seriously. An unsolicited lesson from Carlos revealed that the selection here emphasizes and prioritizes Texas-made vodka, but not Tito’s.
Carlos went on to educate us on the finer points of Texas-made vodka, including the choice of the house: Tower Vodka, from a small distillery in Pilot Point. It's won numerous awards for its smoothness, overall drinkability and attractive price point.
As you lick the last of the grease from your fingers and drain the last of your Blonde Ale, it hits you that you need some kind of palate cleanser to seal the deal. Turns out a shot of Tower Vodka is just the cure. It’s kind of like doing a shot of ouzo after a garlicky Greek meal. It just works.
Ye Olde Scarlet Pumpernickel Tavern feels more like a good friend’s living room than a bar. Once you settle in, you kind of want to stay, which might be the best plan of all.
Ye Olde Scarlet Pumpernickel Tavern, 1402 Main St. Monday – Friday, 2 p.m. – 2 a.m.; Saturday – Sunday, 11 a.m. – 2 a.m.
