I love a reliable party. And gambling. And white linen, mint juleps, ponies, big hats, the look of relaxation that floats in wealthy people's eyes, ironed tablecloths and spontaneous hugging. The Kentucky Derby has all of those things, and has consistently showed 'em off since 1875. Bless its heart.

Dallas has a natural proclivity for southern celebrations, so there are plenty of places to don a bonnet and set of antique pearls this Saturday. Here's twelve that currently lead the formation.

Lee Park Conservancy Party -- Now in its fifth year, the Lee Park Junior Conservancy presents A Day at the Races. It's a big to-do, filling the Arlington Hall at Lee park with the city's most polished young professionals.

It's a traditional celebration, so you'll dress the part in a Kentucky Derby chic ensemble, while chomping on Southern cuisine, gulping Mint Juleps, fixing the Best Hat and Best Dressed Contests, hijacking the cigar rolling table, becoming the live entertainment, dancing with someone's husband, foiling someone's political asperations, and avoiding the silent auction because you're poor. Also, they're showing the races. Ticket prices keep out the commoners, and range from $75 to $150. Odds of getting laid: 15:1