You read The Onion, right?
You want to see The Onion live at the Winspear Thursday night?
That's what we thought.
We have a pair of tickets ready to give away ... but it's not that easy. We want you to prove your love for the satirical publication.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
So, in the comments, write a headline in the style of The Onion (to the best of your ability) using at least three of the following elements:
- fortune cookies
- rush hour traffic
- Nikola Tesla*
*Naturally, Nikola Tesla's hair powder is also acceptable.
The headline/comment with the most "likes" by 3 p.m. today will win the pair of seats. The winner has been decided! The lucky recipient will be notified by email. Thanks to all those who participated and voted! Tickets are still available for purchase here.