Contest: Area Reader To Win Tickets to The Onion Live

You read The Onion, right?

You want to see The Onion live at the Winspear Thursday night?

That's what we thought.

We have a pair of tickets ready to give away ... but it's not that easy. We want you to prove your love for the satirical publication.

So, in the comments, write a headline in the style of The Onion (to the best of your ability) using at least three of the following elements:

  • kangaroo(s)
  • fortune cookies
  • rush hour traffic
  • Nikola Tesla*
  • bees

*Naturally, Nikola Tesla's hair powder is also acceptable.

The headline/comment with the most "likes" by 3 p.m. today will win the pair of seats. The winner has been decided! The lucky recipient will be notified by email. Thanks to all those who participated and voted! Tickets are still available for purchase here.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >