If it wasn't for my weight or appearance or lack of dance ability or lack of Cowboys knowledge, I am sure I would be a shoo-in to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader based on simple admiration for the women.
Because I am such a dedicated fan, I am part of a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders fan group on Facebook. It's where other fans like me can come together and escape the hell that is the rest of the internet and just admire the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. "I love this routine," we sometimes say. "There is no other NFL cheerleading squad like them," we also say. "I know I'm going to get into trouble for this but I just have to ask ... What kind of 'assistance' do the DCC wear as 'undergarment' to produce such awe-inspiring results," Charles sometimes says.
Yes, unfortunately, men — who sometimes say gross things — are allowed into this group, and the page's administrators don't seem to care. It's upsetting, and it upsets me. Why is there a grown man (I assume) asking what kind of bras these women wear? Everyone — even men — should admire the women for how many hours upon hours they rehearse the routines. Or the hours studying Dallas Cowboys knowledge to make sure they know about the team they are cheering for. Or the hours the women spend going to school full time or having a full-time job. But the bras! Charles needs to know about the bras these women are wearing!
"I know I'm going to get into trouble for this but I just have to ask ... What kind of 'assistance' do the DCC wear as 'undergarment' to produce such awe-inspiring results?" — a "fan" named Charles
The men in the group became such a problem that a woman in the group took it upon herself to make a women-only fan group for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. I was a part of that group, and it was amazing. But I got kicked out of that group because I said their rules were stupid. (Almost every Facebook group has a set of rules, and this Facebook group made a rule that no one was allowed to "spoil" the upcoming season of the reality show about the DCCs. Meaning, we couldn't talk about what was happening in real time with the cheerleaders because it might end up "spoiling" the reality show.)
So because I had to run my big, stupid, awful mouth, I'm stuck in this hell space that is this Facebook group where gross men are allowed! And I know what you're alllll thinking right now. Then don't be a part of that group, you stupid whore. I'm not sure you're calling me a whore right now, but it wouldn't surprise me. Yes, I could just remove myself from the group or men could stop being so gross. Do we really need to know that the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders wear a "bombshell" bra from Victoria's Secret, according to the two women who responded to Charles' question and who don't seem to have a problem with him? Probably not.
Maybe Charles wants to buy the bra for his wife. Or daughter. Or himself. Or possibly gift it to one of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders through their fan mail. But I doubt it. So I reported Charles' comment to the group admins and Facebook for "harassment" because that was Facebook's closest choice to what I really wanted to report him for: "being gross and weird." The admins in the group seem to be nonexistent and my report to them is still "in-review." But Facebook responded to my report and said they couldn't find anything wrong with the comment, which is fair, because there were no bad words or threats. I'm sure Facebook saw the comment as just another normal day on the internet where a man wonders aloud about some women's bras. Without any backup from Facebook, I had to find another solution, so I confronted my past mistakes and reached out to the admin for the other group I got kicked out of, begging her to let me back in. She has not yet responded, so it looks like I'm forced to take matters into my own hands.
Even though I am not in the right emotional place to be an admin of a Facebook group, I must do what's right. So I created my own Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders fan group, where Charles is not allowed in and any comments about bras will be printed out and mailed to the FBI.
Please *cheer* me on as I take on my new role.