Above (and in full after the jump) is a (loosely) interpreted synopsis for a Chinese (bootleg) release of 2005's Batman Begins found in an Asian dollar store.
Apparently, how they get their bootleg movie synopses in China is by taking the American version, dropping it into AltaVista Babel Fish, translating it to Chinese, only to then translate it back to English. Oh, and then completely changing the character by replacing every mention of "Batman" with "Spiderman."
Without further adieu, here's the full synopsis of Batman Begins starring Spiderman:
I can't decide what my favorite part is: Doctor Jackstraw (Doctor? Straw? Scarecrow maybe? Am I putting too much thought into this?) or the hope that there is a treasure trove of these somewhere out there, one for every blockbuster, buried deep within a dollar store bargain bin waiting to be shared with the world.
Let's play fancasting! Who would you cast in this Chinese reboot of Batman Begins in which he stroke all criminal activities?: Bruce Wayne AKA Spiderman. Doctor Jackstraw the abnormal drug trafficker. Ra\'s Al-Ghul the chief of Ninja Group. Tougon the chief of Mafia.
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Oh, and yes, we know this is a fairly old image by Internet standards. But look it, we just really wanted an excuse to talk Batman since we're frothing at the mouth, waiting for The Dark Knight Rises, which apparently wraps filming in November -- not that it's of any concern for Christian Bale of many prospective gigs.
For the dramatic reading of BatSpiderMan Begins, click here.
H/t: Happy Place