Glenn Beck campaigning for Sen. Ted Cruz during the Texan's 2016 presidential bid before he got COVID twice.George Frey / Getty
Last week, conservative media mogul Glenn Beck announced on Instagram the results of his second positive COVID test. He also told conservative screamer Mark Levin's radio show (instead of going on TV, presumably so fewer people would hear it) about his second bout with the virus. Even though Beck says it's a lighter case this time," he told Levin the scary news that the virus is "now starting to go into my lungs."
Just to be clear: No one should be celebrating the fact that Glenn Beck contracted coronavirus. No one should celebrate anyone's contracting any form of the virus whether or not they are vaccinated because it affects everyone. That includes people who suck.
The founder of the Dallas based TheBlaze network told Levin that he's on all sorts of medications such as ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine, none of which actually are normally prescribed to treat the respiratory system. Here's the world's least meaningless reason to yell "Surprise!": Beck is not vaccinated, or at least he hasn't acknowledged it to his public.
"Zinc is actually what stops this from getting through, but zinc can't get through the oil, the fat and the water around your cells," Beck said. "So those drugs, all they do is just make like a delivery system so the zinc can get in there. It's not what's fighting it. It's what's allowing it to get into the cell to fight it, and everybody knows this."
Of course, we fact-checked this and no, zinc does not fight or treat coronavirus when other unproven medicines take a cellular Uber to the virus, according to multiple sources including the National Institutes of Health, the Mayo Clinic and the Journal of American Medical Association. (Authorities among reputable physicians and clinics that don't incorporate wind chimes into their treatment methods).
Levin told Beck that when he tried to get medications like ivermectin, "my pharmacist looked at me like I was a heroin addict." That might have had nothing to do with Levin's prescriptions.
It sounds like Beck is feeling really sick, and it wouldn't be fair to pick apart his entire conversation and announcement about his second COVID diagnosis. Besides, there are plenty of times he's said dumb stuff about vaccines and the pandemic when he wasn't ill.
Let's go back to 2014, a time when coronavirus sounded like a disease that causes you to like Jimmy Buffett songs. Beck appeared on some kind of roundtable show without a round table, on his network. Someone on the panel reads a report from The Atlantic about how the schools in the wealthiest areas of Los Angeles have vaccination rates "as low as South Sudan's" thanks to rich parents who don't vaccinate their children because they believe vaccines are harmful in some form or another.
As he hears a list of the potential diseases and illnesses that could've gone on the rise because some rich parents chose to endanger their children, Beck played the biggest a-hole card in his pocket by standing up and applauding with that knowing smirk on his giant head.
He then explained he applauded just to piss off people who believe in vaccination mandates and called them a "trap" like some giant, white Admiral Ackbar for Karens.
Beck also called doctors "arrogant" for wanting to vaccinate patients and brought the discussion over to the use of GMOs in food, saying that mixing GMOs with mandated medication can cause major problems by "pushing something else out of the way." Beck did not present a single source to back up what he was saying.
He even made the chilling forecast that "disease is going to come" anyway when he was pressed to explain his statements that children would become at-risk for easily treatable illnesses. Well, for once, Glenn was right about something. A disease came and he got it. Someone give him a gold star sticker.
Then just when you think you're past the peak of pain from watching this cringe clip of high-def snake oil, he put a cherry on his shivering sundae of bullshit, just to make things a little more infuriating. The whole time, he was wearing a T-shirt with the logo for series The Punisher, under a sweater jacket like some bro-ed up Mister Rogers.
Seriously though, Glenn. Get better soon. We mean that in every way possible.
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Danny Gallagher has been a regular contributor to the Dallas Observer since 2014. He has also written features, essays and stories for MTV, the Chicago Tribune,Maxim, Cracked, Mental_Floss, The Week, CNET and The Onion AV Club.