It's been there since he started drawing "conclusions" by scraping his screeds on chalkboards like some conspiracy theory fever dream that refuses to break. More recently, Beck and his peculiarities crossed over into shoddy cosplay territory when he pretended to be a day-glo cowboy at the Conservative Political Action Committee conference.
Alas, it's gotten worse, much worse. He's not only wearing the costumes to act out his weirdest fantasies, he's doing impressions. If you have to ask if they are bad impressions, then you've never been embarrassed by a parent. Or seen Glenn Beck.
When Dad tries to do a bad impression in front of your friends or a date, it can crush you with embarrassment. Beck's most recent attempt at impersonation humor is so bad that you don't need his chromosomes to make you cringe. It's not even a good enough performance for an unauthorized porn parody of the thing he's spoofing, but it will make you cringe just as hard as if you watched the porn version with your parents.
Conservative pundits have been trying to turn the saga of Hunter Biden, President Joe Biden's son, into something as sweeping and corrupt as just one of ex-President Donald Trump's inevitable and actual indictments.
Beck, of course, has taken it one step further not just by outright saying that Biden's whole family is the "Biden crime family" but by also trying to shoehorn a size-four shoe onto a canoe-sized foot by making the Bidens seem like the Corleone family of The Godfather fame. You've been warned. He does an impression of Marlon Brando's Don Corleone that is so stunningly bad, he becomes Fredo.
He greets his fans in the minimum definition of a tuxedo. It looks like one of those outfits you end up wearing when you realize you needed at least a week's head start to rent a tuxedo, so you throw together a suit coat, a white shirt and a clip-on bow tie and hope nobody notices you didn't even bother to put the buttons in the right holes because you were getting dressed in the car.We’ve had evidence against the Biden Crime Family for YEARS. But still, the Justice Department looks the other way. So, tonight on Glenn TV, I’ll build the RICO case that the DOJ can’t refuse … and it goes directly to the Godfather himself. Or, should I call him “the Big Guy?” pic.twitter.com/cuYmWy3AoX
— Glenn Beck (@glennbeck) August 17, 2023
Then he opens his mouth to do his Don Corleone impression, and it's just embarrassing. For starters, it sounds nothing like Don Corleone or even Marlon Brando. Brando is one of those impressions like Donald Trump, William Shatner or Joan Rivers that just about anyone can do well enough. It's clear that Beck hasn't even seen The Godfather or even worse, he's seen only The Godfather Part III.
The whole time, he strokes an enormous ceramic white cat that he eventually refers to as a literal ceramic cat because Beck is gonna find a joke in this thing if he has to drill to its very core. He can't even get his cinematic villain universes straight. Beck looks more like Blofeld from the James Bond movies or Dr. Evil from the Austin Powers movies, and something tells me that if he tried to do either of those impressions, they would definitely sound more like Don Corleone than this one.
It's not even an impression of a halfway decent impression of Don Corleone or Marlon Brando. He sounds like he's doing an impression of Beck trying to do an impression of Brando.
