It's cool to drink like a serious grown up. One or two drinks, then head home. Hell, maybe even get some reading in before you cut the lights out at 11:30! But, every now and again, "just one drink" becomes four and you're standing on a table voguing to a Radiohead song and the owner is looking at you with their hands on their hips like they're your mother. You know better than that.
We here at DC9 want to help you find a good place to be just in case it goes down like that. And if it does, be prepared for the shame that stings almost as much as the hangover. If you're going to go down that road, you might as well not spend a fortune. Here are the best bars in Dallas to get hammered, to booze, get turnt, get sauced, get shitfaced -- however you like it -- on the chea.
10. Applebee's, various locations Listen, the quality of food is not that great at Applebee's. It's actually decidedly bad. But the thing that makes Applebee's a low-key gem is that every day after 10 p.m., Applebees' sells their appetizers for half price, which makes the dog food elevate itself to okay, especially if you've had a drink or two. This is a much better option to cap the night than Taco Bell, because it's less disgusting, around the same price and there's dirt cheap drinks here.
9. Truck Yard Truck Yard does not reach its ideal form until the weather is warm -- you know, when birds sing and annoying flies buzz. Patio drinking is of the season and Truck Yard is one of the best places in Dallas to do it, but what sets Truck Yard apart is its decidedly rustic vibe, and that it's lined with food trucks. Pro tip: the real gem is the Philly cheese steak, which is whipped up inside. A bunch of craft beers are available and the cocktails they've got on draft will remind you of mixing drinks in college when you were 19 in every way imaginable.
5624 Sears St., Dallas, texastruckyard.com
8. Wit's End If the idea of drinking on a rooftop in Dallas excites you, but you don't want to do it dangerously at your humble abode or at some bourgeoisie downtown place, Wit's End is the place that keeps it real for you. There's frequently live music played here, mostly on the louder and heavier end of the spectrum, and quite often some burlesque performances as well.
2724 Elm St., Dallas, witsenddeepellum.com
7. Adair's Saloon Hell, this bar is the closest you'll get in Deep Ellum to being very Southern in a good way. They've got a short food menu that's mostly comprised of some type of meat. The beers are pretty cheap, and they have the whole deal where you can get a slight discount if you get a bucket of them. Every night there's music, most of which is country.
2624 Commerce St., Dallas, adairssaloon.com
6. Crown & Harp The fact that the barkeeps can be dicks sometimes shouldn't deter you. The atmosphere is what makes Crown & Harp great as the music is almost always on point. DJ nights hit either one of the two floors frequently, as do shows -- mostly from local bands, but sometimes with touring independent acts. The mark of a good time is easily amplified by good music, sometimes stumbled upon, and Crown & Harp has that in spades.
1914 Greenville Ave., Dallas, thecrownandharp.com
5. The Goat The Goat is located in Lakewood, near White Rock, which is like basically Garland, right? Jokes about Dallas geography aside, this place is like what we imagine jumping in that DeLorean and heading back into Dallas' past might be like. The blues is a staple at the place, where musicians dole it out nearly every night. A few nights a week, there's karaoke too. Thank God, the drinks are cheap here, because unless you're from Japan, where the activity was created, karaoke is about a quarter as fun without a little buzz.
7248 Gaston Ave., Dallas, thegoatdallas.com
4. Lee Harvey's I'll be damned if Dallas doesn't have the weirdest fascination with the fact that a president got a bullet to the dome here. But, here we are, with Lee Harvey's, which isn't confirmed to have been named after Mr. Oswald, but coincidences are for the X-Files. It's a fine bar, and not a patsy. The dive's got a full food menu, cheap drinks, and a big-ass patio. The hype about the onion rings is more than well-earned and that grease is scientifically proven to curb the eventual hangover.
1807 Gould St., Dallas, leeharveys.com
3. Grapevine Bar Grapevine Bar, a bar where you might find Observer staffers swilling away drinks on a lazy Friday afternoon, is cheap and isn't smack dab next to another bar in proximity. This is always the mark of a gem, because you may get more of a communal spirit. But, far and above the best thing Oak Lawn delight is that there's a basketball goal on the patio. Not sure there is anything that makes a night better than a fade away while getting faded.
3902 Maple Ave., Dallas, grapevinebar.com
2. Double Wide The Double Wide is a fantastic Dallas treasure. The sequel, Single Wide, is located in Lower Greenville, but the Deep Ellum/Exposition Park original gangster location is the zenith. Grab the signature drink, a Yoohoo Yeehaw, and take in the gaudy tongue-in-cheek decor inspired by white trashdom. The people are great, even though they'll scare the living hell out of your grandmother with all of their tattoos and the drinks are stiff. If Johnny Cash was alive in Dallas today, he'd basically live here.
3510 Commerce St., Dallas, double-wide.com
1. Ship's Lounge Ship's Lounge is the most venerable dive bar in all of Dallas. They only sell beer, wine and soda. The bar is cash only, so bring have a few dollars on hand. And to top it all off, since they don't sell liquor, you can bring it in and drink it there if you pay them a few bucks. If this sounds like a hole in the wall, well, that's because it kind of is, but in the best way imaginable. 1613 Greenville Ave., Dallas
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