Truck Yard Is Hosting a White Trash Christmas Party

They'll hardly have to decorate.
They'll hardly have to decorate.
Catherine Downes

If you think about it, the holidays are at least a little trashy. Unless you grew up in some fancy household where Christmas dinner is actually served on China and you're expected to wear non-stretchy pants, you're probably going to be spending the time leading up to December 25 fighting with your relatives and eating lots of things covered in Velveeta cheese. What could be more white trash than that?

Maybe you'll find a trashier scene than your Aunt Betty's trailer at Truck Yard's first-annual White Trash Christmas Party. Hosted at everyone's favorite "adult playground" on December 13, the party will include all of the essential elements of a white trash Christmas, most notably lots and lots of booze.

Truck Yard will introduce two new hot cocktails at the party, which is reason enough to take a trip down to Lower Greenville. The Bishop Punch, made with mulled wine, Cana Brava rum, and Grand Marnier sounds a little fancier than the Svedka-and-Sprite that you're used to drinking at your mom's house, but it will still likely get you drunk enough to punch your cousin, just like last year. Also on offer will be an Ancho Reyes Abuelita drink kicked up a notch with a little Tequila Cabeza.

The party will also hold an ugly sweater contest, and you can probably pull your entry from one of those embarrassing sweaters that your mom bought you for family photos that time. If yours is the ugliest, you could win a Truck Yard gift certificate that will buy a lot of cheesesteaks and boozy hot chocolate. While you're all decked out in your ugly sweater, you can take a classy Christmas photo in front of the Truck Yard's beautiful Christmas tree, constructed entirely from old car tires.

If you still need to take pictures with Santa, Eddie "The Dwarfguy" Zanetti will be dressed up like Saint Nick for photos with drunken revelers. According to a press release, Zanetti is "just like a regular Santa, only smaller, so he'll be sitting on your lap instead." This spectacle is probably entirely offensive to people with dwarfism, who generally prefer to be called "little people," but we're sure that the hipsters on Lower Greenville will eat it right up.

Truck Yard Christmas will be held on December 13, which is coincidentally (or not) the first day of the twelve days of Christmas, so maybe they'll have a partridge in a pear tree. Or a buzzard in a tire tree. Or something.


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