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Dallas, The Drinking Game!

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For the rest of the world, the body is a temple. Here in Texas it's a dive bar where booze lives, so to celebrate the return of Dallas, we've put together a little libation inspiration. The show airs tonight at 8 p.m. on TNT, and whether you choose to watch it from the reclusive safety of your couch or join us at tonight's Angelika premier party (it's free!), you'll want to knock a few back, Texas-style. (Side note: If participating in this game in any place other than your home, call a cab. You don't want to wind up in a paddy wagon because of fictitious exploits on Southfork Ranch.)

Also, we just got word from the Angelika that they'll have hard liquor in honor of tonight's event. Here's a list of available premier party bevies (cocktails will run you $7.50):

South Fork Seven & Seven Bobby's Bourbon & Soda Sue Ellen's Screwdriver Ewing's Tequila Sunrise Elena's Cape Cod John Ross' Gin & Tonic Christopher's Scotch on the Rocks

JR Shots: Southern Comfort & Lime Tequila Whiskey

And now, let's crack one open in honor of the Ewings.

1.) Every time an oil rig bursts, drink. 2.) Money shot of Reunion Tower, drink. 3.) If a nearly forgotten half-sibling emerges, drink. 4.) Scenes obviously filmed in Fort Worth, posing as Dallas (ie, stockyards) pick a friend to drink. 5.) Dallas places posing as other Dallas places (AT&T Center as "the airport") drink. 6.) Creepy Old Person nookie, drink a lot. Then, drink a little more. 7.) Patrick Duffy gets overly moral, has fatherly ethics talk with son, drink to forget. 8.) If those 1980s shoulder pads make a cameo, shrug and drink. 9.) If the SMU campus makes an appearance, drink. (Lucy Ewing was an SMU cheerleader in the '70s.). 10.) If it ends on a cliffhanger, shotgun. 11.) Every time a woman appears wearing a bikini or lingerie with high heels and blinged out jewelry, drink. 12.) If Larry Hagman's face collapses like an eroded, deep ocean cave -- shots!

See y'all tonight!

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Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.