Best Of Dallas® 2006 Winners
Arts & Entertainment
Nothing incites more painful cringing than watching someone really go out on a limb, make four times the required effort and fail miserably. This is simultaneously one of the best and worst things about live stand-up comedy, depending on your propensity for schadenfreude. Comics and comedy venues alike are prone to the sad fate of trying too hard to cater to everyone, which is why the Backdoor Comedy Club is such a relief from the same old shtick. Intimate and unassuming, Backdoor is run by two of the funniest women in town, Linda Stogner and Jan Norton. Each weekend, eight or more comics are featured per night, from local favorites to new faces trying out material in the tiny theater. The crowd's always appreciative and manageable for the waitstaff, which means prompt service and less of a chance you'll want to pummel the heckler in the front row. For a city prone to taking itself far too seriously, Dallas is lucky to have had Stogner and Norton's weekly doses of funny for 15 years running.
Not so long ago, down the highway apiece in the town of LaGrange, there was a place called the Chicken Ranch that had nothing to do with laying eggs but a whole lot to do with getting laid. For decades it operated as an illegal bordello where bad-boy politicians could get done to them what they were doing to constituents, where college football players could pay to score with professional sure things.
The Chicken Ranch offered a friendly spot for a horizontal hoedown with some down-home hos. Local law enforcement let it be. Then along came a screaming, toupee-wearing, crusading-for-morality Houston TV reporter named Marvin Zindler, whose exposs on the brothel got the Bible brigade to force the authorities to shut it down.
The story cracked the headlines for a while in the 1970s and might have faded into the annals of Lone Star State history were it not for Texas writers Larry L. King and Peter Masterson who, along with composer Carol Hall, scrambled the facts of the Chicken Ranch scandal into a sexy theatrical fry-up called The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.
Choreographed by Texan Tommy Tune, the show opened on Broadway in 1978 and played more than 1,500 performances. The campy but less successful movie starring Dolly Parton as Miss Mona (the madam), Burt Reynolds as the sheriff and Dom DeLuise as the Zindler character, Melvin P. Thorpe, came and went in 1982.
Its been a good while since any Dallas theater mounted (tee-hee) a full-sized production of the musical, but its a nice fit at Contemporary Theatre of Dallas, where its onstage through October 29. CTD founder and Whorehouse cast member Sue Loncar plays one of nine Chicken Ranch chickies and says she remembers watching the real story unfold on TV when she was growing up in Houston. And did this Highland Park mother of five have any reservations about playing a prostie? My kids just think its funny. Anyway, how cool is it to be 40-something and get to be in this show! I consider it a privilege and an opportunity to try to lose some weight!
Husband Brian Loncar, the Strong Arm lawyer on those TV commercials, is making his theatrical debut as The Governor, singing Dance a Little Sidestep and spouting political doubletalk: As I was saying just this morning at the weekly prayer breakfast, it behooves the Jews and the Ay-rabs to settle their differences in a Christian manner. Loncar says hes bringing to the role what he tries to bring to the TV adsMy motto is maximum cheese.
Whorehouse was risqu Broadway fare in the 70s, but by todays Pussycat Dolled-up, G-String Diva-fied standards, its pretty tame stuff. Its definitely not The Life, says Sue Loncar, referring to the much edgier musical about streetwalkers. This show puts a sugar coating on prostitution. Miss Monas is less like a brothelmore sorority house.
Whorehouse may be a bit of a museum piece but still has some things to say about the society we live in and the way the media blow things out of proportion, especially things of a sexual nature, says director James Paul Lemons. But its not message-heavy. Think lingerie and big hair, Lemons says. Were going over-the-top Texas style, walking the line between camp and authenticity.
For the actress playing Linda Lou, one of the scantily clad, by-the-hour hoochies who works for Miss Mona (played by Jenny Thurman), its the latest in a series of R-rated roles on Dallas stages. Cara Statham Serber gave audiences the T and the A as the cheerleader/prostitute in Kitchen Dog Theaters production of Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical and stripped down to her bra and half-slip as Janet in CTDs Rocky Horror Show.
Someday no one will want to see me in lingerie, so I have to capitalize on it, says Serber, who recently co-starred in WaterTower Theatres Into the Woods and describes her offstage persona as Frisco hausfrau. I spent all of my 20s doing Maria in The Sound of Music and Marian the librarian in The Music Man. I have to say, playing a whore is more silly fun than being Laurie in Oklahoma!
Actor Joey Oglesby pawed Serber as a football player in Debbie and gets to do it again as one of the dancing Aggies visiting the Best Little Whorehouse. When director Lemons told Oglesby hed be wearing a jockstrap, and little else, for one of the numbers, the actor headed for the gym. I have my 10-year high school reunion coming up, too, so I guess thats a good thing, he says. Ive never been opposed to taking off my clothes for laughs.
A Baylor grad whos also part of the Second Thought Theatre company, Oglesby says his Southern Baptist parents are pretty open-minded but refused to see Debbie Does Dallas, which was several notches raunchier than Whorehouse.
Maybe best not to tell them, or Zindler, whos still on the air at Houstons ABC station, that CTD occupies a two-story building off Lower Greenville Avenue that formerly served as a house of worship.
Says Sue Loncar, Yep, weve put the hos in church. Were probably all going to hell for that. Elaine Liner
There is a place in Dallas called Redmansor The Redmans or Redmans Lodge or a host of other monikersthat is legendary amongst poker players. It is not terribly hard to find, should you know its general location, which we would not presume to give away here lest Dallas police read this. No, once a years quite enough for poker players, about 80 of whom were arrested or cited in June when the cast of A&Es reality show Dallas SWAT wham-bammed down the door at Aces on Irving Boulevard. They showed up well prepared that night, with full diagrams of the jointdown to the number of tables and the seat positions at each, to better keep track of the players popped for playing Texas Hold Em. The raid even received mention from the Cato Institutes Web site, which referred to the bust and others like it across the country as examples of frightening militarism. All that force used on people playing cards. Bret Maverick would not have approved.
So we will leave Redmans alone, save to say its hallowed ground for would-be rounders and wanna-be pros whove heard tales of T.J. Cloutier, Doyle Brunson, Amarillo Slim Preston, David Williams and other players shoving big stacks across the famous felt. Redmans has been around forever and feels like itsmells like it, actually, its aroma that of a locker room used as an ashtray. Its as much an essential and vital piece of Dallas history as any of the citys few remaining landmarks, yet it cant be celebrated out in the open because what happens in therepeople playing cards for money, just like they do on TV seemingly 24 hours a dayremains illegal in the state.
As Kinky Friedman puts it, We invented Texas Hold Em, and we cant play it, which is true: In Texas, any game in which the house takes a cut of a winning pota rakeis considered to be breaking the law, which is why places such as Redmans exist beneath ground, its low rumble audible only to those tuned in to the frequency of the clinking of chips being stacked between flops and folds. Aces got popped because it was too out in the open, advertising its doings on the Internet. Says a friend who once sat at a table there, It was asking for it.
Yet not so long ago, many of Dallas underground poker rooms played the same loose-aggressive game. By some counts, there were about 200 card rooms in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, with almost a quarter of those in the 214 or 972, and many of them posted their schedules on the Web, begging you to come buy into their low-stakes games. Now comes word that but a fraction of a fraction of them remainthree or four, says Dan Michalski, whose Pokerati blog has for several years detailed the rise and fall of poker rooms in the area. (Michalski also now runs PokerBlog.com, and for a long time he ran the Sunday-afternoon free-roll tournaments at The Lodge.)
Which means Dallas has lost some of its best roomsplaces such as the Murfield, the Platinum Room and Stagecoach, the latter of which was in northwest Dallas and boasted the big-screen sheen of any decent casino, served up a decent meal, allowed no booze, sent smokers to a private room and boasted stellar players keeping polite company (except for the son of a bitch who called my $10 raise holding nothing more than 9-2 off-suit and hit two pair on the flop). Thats not to say Dallas still doesnt have a scene; far from it. In fact, in his new book Hunting Fish: A Cross-Country Search for Americas Worst Poker Players, Jay Greenspan writes, Dallas is said to have the best underground poker scene in the country, and he visited a few spots that did little to disabuse him of that notion.
But Michalski, who was Greenspans tour guide of Dallas poker joints and receives copious mentions in the book, says theyve been replaced by underground games that are well above-groundwhich is to say, in apartment complexes and office buildings and other far-outta-the-way places that hold only two or three tables and fewer players than the old-fashioned card rooms populated by rounders up to their asses in cards and other rounders.
The scene is clearly back, Michalski says. The games still exist, theyve just gone more underground, and theyve gone small. You have a lot of three-table rooms where someones rented out a loft. I just got an e-mail today that says the Platinum Room is back. It doesnt say where the location is, and thats because theres also a tougher screening process. Indeed, only a year ago all you needed was to know a places location to buy into a game; today, youre invited by e-mail, given a contact number and usually only if you know somebody connected to the game.
Theyre calling them home games now, Michalski says. The truth is, theyre still taking rakes and making money. But theyre treating them like home games, as opposed to these people who were actively promoting and throwing big tournaments. Trust me, the scene is fine and dandy.
So, somebody deal me in, already. Robert Wilonsky
The final resting place of notorious outlaw Clyde Barrow and his brother Buck is located just west of downtown on Fort Worth Avenue, mere minutes away from the glittering, soulless faades of the New Dallas (cough, cough, W Hotel, cough, cough). Sure, Old Clyde wasn't the best behaved of fellows, but living in this town you have to admit that our outlaws--Barrow, Oswald, Ruby and the like--are some of the most fascinating characters Dallas ever produced, morals or not. After Clyde was killed in Louisiana (alongside his beloved Bonnie Parker) in a ruthless law enforcement ambush, his body attracted hundreds of curious Dallasites, both before (his remains were displayed in the Belo Mansion, which at the time housed the Sparkman Funeral Home) and after burial. Access to the cemetery is extremely limited, and the neighborhood is notoriously sketchy (though the Belmont Hotel might change that), so we wouldn't suggest visiting old Clyde without permission. Just knowing he's there is good enough for us.
Kids these days. Always listening to that goldurned rap music. Drinking their mojitos and wearing them dee-signer jeans. Getting "crunk." Back in our day, there weren't no "crunk." There was two-steppin' and Wranglers and ice-cold Lone Star. That's why we like Cowboys Red River. You could call an over-decorated, under-air-conditioned room filled with 20-somethings rubbing together butt-to-crotch a dance club. But you'd be wrong, pardner. You'd do better to call a place where people go to dance a dance club. Cowboys Dance Hall is just such a place. There's just nothing like a giant warehouse with an expansive, round dance floor and a live honky-tonk band to get our boot heels a-tappin'. We'll go round and round with the "Cotton-Eyed Joe" or wow our lady friend with a mean schottische. Then, we'll do her right and buy her a beer and a shot o' whiskey from the bar. After that she'll be ready for a go on Cowboys' mechanical bull. And then, if we're lucky, a ride of a different kind. You know how the saying goes, right? Save a horse...
Though we generally prefer eBay or craigslist when it comes to purchasing our axes, we do venture to Guitar Center on Central from time to time for the little things--strings, tuners, cables, etc. Without fail we always see: A) at least one complete emo band loitering in the parking lot, B) at least one past or present member of [DARYL] or the Deathray Davies, and C) some dude playing a slightly off-kilter rendition of a riff from either a Stevie Ray Vaughan or a Red Hot Chili Peppers song--sometimes we can't even tell which one; we only know that it's most likely one of the two.
Someone in Austin is gonna pay for this. When the all-female roller derby leagues of Central Texas reared their heads during our college days, we thought it was novel enough--after all, we almost went to a match once to catch And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead. Thankfully, we abstained, so we can't count ourselves responsible for the derby's spread to DFW and beyond. Judging by the growing ranks of local leagues such as Assassination City Derby and the Dallas Derby Devils--and all their blood make-up, lame tattoos and piercings--the metroplex has more than its fair share of strained father-daughter relationships. Now that the A&E series Rollergirls has been canceled, we can all hope that this obnoxious trend will be similarly short-lived. All right, we get it already. You chicks are tough. Can we have the Double Wide back now?
Best Fake Mayoral Candidate Promise
Putting Big Tex on Top of Reunion Tower
When Mayor Laura Miller announced that she wouldn't seek re-election, speculation about who might succeed her spread like a West Texas grassfire, prompting the men of KTCK's The Hardline to ask: Why not Mike Rhyner? When the beloved radio host was asked that afternoon what platform he might run on, the Old Gray Wolf responded with a stroke of political genius, saying if he were elected, he'd put Big Tex on top of the Reunion Tower. He's got our fake vote. Even if he only kept his promise for a day, you have to admit it would be a sight to see. Now if only we could get Santiago Calatrava to work the Texas Star into one of those friggin' bridge designs.
For more than a quarter-century The Round-Up Saloon has been one of Dallas' premier purveyors of country and western music, dancing and good times for good folks. Although classified as a gay bar, this popular watering hole welcomes those of all genders and persuasions, and any given night will give testimony that all types are present and all feel welcome. The Round-Up features all genres of country music, including old country, new/old remakes, young country and even crossover country. In short, the range of music offers styles, speeds and tastes to satisfy all. Nearly as rangy as the Ponderosa, this large club features six different bars and areas certain to provide the desired atmosphere to comfortably lip a long-neck (read that however you like). New shows and special events are scheduled frequently to ensure things keep hopping and hooting. Regular beer busts (50 cent draft!), karaoke, free dance lessons and Friday and Saturday Howdy Hour are popular mainstays here.
In only two years, the Summer Strut Home Tour, which takes place in early June, has leapt to the top of the list in this otherwise moribund category of entertainment. After all, how long can you really stay interested in Swiss Avenue? Sponsored by the AIDS Resource Center, the Summer Strut so far has presented tours in the Turtle Creek area and Greenway Parks, west of the Dallas North Tollway at Mockingbird Lane. It's not cheap--$50 a head and $90 per couple--but there are hors d'oeuvres at the houses and often live music. Old homes are mixed with new in a blend that is more stylish than what one sees on typical neighborhood tours.
Every night we dine at this Oak Cliff institution we're treated to the best atmosphere of any Mexican joint in Dallas, complete with a roster of the city's finest mariachis. The fervent strumming of guitars, voices raised in perfect harmony, the sound of twin trumpets ringing off the tile--it's the next best thing to San Antonio, only you don't have to drive five hours and fight the River Walk crowds. On our last visit we even caught a touring act, an amplified band complete with twin saxophones, keyboard bass and a guy who had the sole responsibility of playing the hi-hat on the offbeat--with his hand.
What's going on with investigative TV reporting lately? For a while KTVT-Channel 11 had pulled ahead of WFAA's News 8 with a consistent string of hard-hitting, well-reported stories on local government and politics. What happened on 11? Recently their biggies were "New cameras can change the way you look," "Katie Couric's day in Texas" and, our favorite mind-boggling expos, "Schools influencing value of homes." Channel 8, meanwhile, is back in the winner's circle again with hard-hitting stories by Brett Shipp and Byron Harris on airline safety, wacked-out incompetence in the Dallas schools' administration, complaints of meshugga cops in Deep Ellum and others. All the major newscasts have competent newsreaders. It's the individual reporters and behind-the-scenes producers who make the difference. Right now, those are the people who have made News 8 the one to watch at 6 and 10.
Tired of Deep Ellum and Lower Greenville? Sick of getting hit up for change, paying eight bucks to park and constantly watching for muggers? Then head up Interstate 35 a piece and enjoy a night on the Denton town square, where the parking's free and the streets are considerably safer. For starters, we'd suggest a slice or two of delicious J&J's pizza (118 W. Oak St.). Follow that up with a shake at Beth Marie's Old Fashioned Ice Cream and Soda Fountain (117 W. Hickory St.), which you can work off with a stroll on the grounds of the picturesque courthouse. Finally, take in a show at Hailey's, Dan's or the basement of J&J's; there's bound to be a good one somewhere. If all else fails, keep your eyes peeled for a kid or two busking on the sidewalk.
If you're driving on Lower Greenville and notice you're being tailed, head for the corner of Skillman and Live Oak streets, where you'll find the Lakewood Texaco, favored on-duty pit stop of the East Dallas cops. Owners Issa and Lena Boeuri have firmly entrenched their station in the hearts of the local community, in the process creating a virtual Shangri-la for cops--full of doughnuts, coffee, magazines and good conversation. If your night ever goes bad, you'll probably be glad they're there--we might, however, suggest you think twice before purchasing that newly stocked issue of High Times in their presence.
John McCaa is a serious person. He has a master's degree in politics from the University of Dallas (not easy to get) and has been at WFAA since 1984, with a solid history of street reporting behind him. But look, how do you judge news anchoring, as opposed to news news? Let's be honest, McCaa is this year's best anchor because he has the best knitted-brow expression of somber authority and the best end-of-newscast chuckle. That's what you call range in the anchor biz. He also does those voice-over previews at the beginning of the newscast with just the right amount of energy, meaning he doesn't sound bored but doesn't sound like a used-car guy hawking repos either. We don't want to go on too much about the others who didn't make it in this category. Tracy Rowlett at Channel 11 was close, but his pompadour has been a little flat lately. Clarice Tinsley and Jane McGarry--their cute wore off awhile back. Karen Borta--still too cute. We know one thing: Nobody better put us in front of that camera. Don't even try. Did you hear that? We dare you. Try it. Just once.
Best Tramp-Stamp Collecting
Jake's Old Fashioned Hamburgers, Uptown
One of the few good things about working near Uptown is the people-watching, and restaurant employees are no exception. Judging by the waitstaff, the interview process at the Uptown Jake's must include a visit to Tigger's tattoos--we haven't seen this many dolphins, rainbows and butterflies since we caught that IMAX movie with the Sting soundtrack. If you'd like to see what these comely young ladies might look like after 10 years and three kids, we direct you to the former Jake's (now Jakk's) on Garland Road.
Best Radio Station (Tie)
KHYI-95.3 FM, The Range KTCK-1310 AM, The Ticket
Outlaw country and baseball chat--what's next, an award for our fave bait shop? Not really, and this shouldn't insinuate that other genres aren't doing well on Dallas' dial; the heated battle between KBFB-97.9 FM (The Beat) and KKDA-104 FM (K104) is good news for mainstream rap fans, and KNTU-88.1 FM delivers more worthwhile, bop-era jazz than most stations in the nation. But this year's winners aren't just the best of Dallas--they're what you'd least expect in this plastic city. Longtime local jockey Alan Peck Sr., decades past his days at trailblazing country station KBOX, continues to lead The Range with its self-professed brand of "hard country" that proves no cut is too deep, from Ray Stevens' "Ahab the Arab" to Sorta's "Party's Over" and every Texas swing gem in between. And in spite of The Ticket's growth this year, boosted by the all-sports station's official partnership with the Dallas Cowboys, the no-B.S. attitude that has won over legions of dedicated P1s hasn't softened, which means The Musers' Gordon Keith is still screwing around as The Fake Jerry Jones and The Hardline's Mike Rhyner won't stop calling Bill Parcells "The New Jersey Con Man" anytime soon. The station touts that its listeners "hang out" with the hosts, and that's exactly what it feels like to hear the guys deliver hilarious, self-deprecating material about everything from spelling bees to Parcells' "fupa" (not to mention their weekly recaps of on-air screw-ups, the kinds most other stations would prefer to ignore). Talk and country radio that isn't cheesy and contrived doesn't just exist in Dallas; it thrives.
Some moms may go for Kenny G., but ours is way cooler than that, a veteran of more kick-ass concerts than you youngsters can even dream of. Unfortunately, Mom just can't party like she used to. Luckily for her there's the Granada Theater, booked solid with mom-friendly acts and shows that end by midnight. It's also non-smoking, which, let's be honest, is really a plus for everyone. Throw in reserved seating, easy parking and some cleverly named menu items and you have a recipe for a middle-aged woman dancing in the aisles.
Best Southern Sector Radio Show
Liberation Nation with John Wiley Price
Want to know what's going on politically in the southern sector? Or all the sectors, for that matter? Well, heck, you've got the top elected official in southern Dallas talking about it every week on the radio. Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price spices his show with humor and leavens it with uplift, but then he also just goes off the deep end sometimes telling it like it is--like he says it is, anyway--about Dallas politics. Liberation Nation provides smart and valuable insights into an important part of the city, and it also makes for some highly entertaining listening.
Since we take pride in celebrating local failures, we're honored to shine our Best of spotlight on Frank Hejl, the former KNTU DJ who hasn't seen a microphone with proper wattage since May. The creator and voice behind Frequency Down lost his job (an unpaid one, no less) after airing an uncensored version of "Shake It Off," a song by Ninja High School complete with the FCC's least favorite F-word (no, not "fandango"). We call B.S. on the firing . The accident was aired late on a Sunday night, and Hejl was our favorite kind of DJ: funny, smart in interviews and with a show full of good, local musical choices. But the Frequency is down for the count, as Hejl now has a new project: a stand-up comedian/band series called Mix Tapes and Baby Fights. And in spite of our bloodlust for failure, all hail Hejl's and MT&BF's success.
As you pass over the traffic on Dallas' clogged freeways, lower your paper for a second and just look at them down there, sitting in their cars, spasmodically inching along as you zoom past overhead. Then thank us for telling you to take the Trinity Railway Express from Dallas to Fort Worth's gleaming T&P station. The ever-growing popularity of this line may be linked to the blossoming appeal of downtown living; downtown Fort Worth, that is. It also may be that the trains are invariably on time to the minute, 65 of them from Union Station to the heart of Fort Worth's vibrant central district. And at $4.50 a ticket, not only is it faster than driving, it's also cheaper.
Dallas is famous for its abundance of surgically enhanced beauty, and most Uptown lunch spots offer plenty of reassurance that the reputation is well-deserved. But among narcissists there are also purists, those willing to spend their lunch hour at the gym in pursuit of the perfect body. So where do those die-hards line up for healthy takeout after their workout? Eatzi's phenomenal gourmet salad bar, that's where. It's worth eating at the tables outside to see the dizzying array of pulchritude flouncing in and out. Is that hunger that's making you feel faint, or lack of blood to the head?
As the quality of musical radio dries up, the search for a great local DJ becomes ever more desperate. Really, if an on-air personality doesn't have the right combination of personality, humor and taste, then why bother ejecting the car tape adapter for our iPods? Thankfully, Tom Urquhart nails that combination every Sunday at 9 p.m. with The Good Show, the only show left in town that gives a damn about the following four pillars: supporting good local music, delivering the best in national indie rock, surprising ears with great classic picks from all genres and making fans laugh in the process. Local band interviews, in-studio sessions and theme episodes are great, as are the Good crew members, but Urquhart's the ultimate music buddy, the guy who wraps up suggestions old and new in witty, pleasant banter. Best of all, iPod fans, you can even keep your gadget plugged in with weekly podcasts uploaded to goodshow.net.
Denton's DJ Nature calls each of his gigs "The Party" for a reason. Whether he's spinning on Friday nights at Zubar or forcing his hometown hipsters to stay up late on Wednesdays at Rubber Gloves, Nature packs rooms with the freshest live mixes in town. And we don't mean "fresh" as slang--his whirlwind blends of baile funk, indie rock and thugged-out hip-hop are full of tracks that have barely made blips in New York's DJ world, let alone in Dallas. Makes sense that Nature's a forward-thinker; before recently returning to town, the man did his duty in the ultra-competitive scenes of New York and Puerto Rico and worked high-profile gigs as M.I.A.'s live DJ and as re-mixer for various XL Recordings artists. Still, the rsum means nothing without a hot dance floor, and Nature wins on a weekly basis with a healthy spread of genres that gets guys and girls of all tastes dancing like fools. Party on.
It's one of those things you take for granted if you live here, sort of like the Statue of Liberty in New York or the Gateway Arch in St. Louis. The rotating bar at the top of Reunion Tower may seem like pure tourist fodder, but once you're up in The Dome, sipping one of their formidable margaritas and watching the skyline of Dallas creep slowly past the window, you'll forget all about the corruption and congestion that is downtown and remember that, by Crow, we have one bitchin' skyline.
Some comics are like grizzly bears, assailing their prey with vicious jokes. Others are like weasels, slyly creeping up on their targets before quietly taking them out with evil sarcasm. Corey Sutton is more like a puppy, all innocence and fluff until he takes a great big verbal pee right in the middle of your comfort zone. Sutton's got a boyish charm that is, ahem, truly boyish, since the Allen teenager is just barely out of high school. At 19, Sutton has perfected a shy, almost embarrassed onstage persona that makes him both endearing and surprising. Known to stuff his pockets with jokes written on scraps of paper, he might shamelessly pull them out, one by one, during his sets at Pocket Sandwich Theatre or Hyena's in Arlington. Sutton draws in audiences with his low-key, post-stoner demeanor. Blessed indeed are the meek, for sometimes they inherit the laughs.
This coffee shop in Deep Ellum makes the most of a tiny space by going upward. In the small, loft-like space, the ascending stairs split two ways, into a living room area complete with funky furniture and a conference area with a long communal table for the more professional of midday online slackers. But seating can be competitive--either that or the commingling idea hasn't made its way to some Dallasites. Some people just don't like having to share a table or couch and simply walk back downstairs with their laptop cases unopened. Don't let that stop you. The soothing atmosphere of natural light and not-too-loud music makes for a relaxing kind of comfort where a neighbor is more than welcome. Oh, and the coffee's good too!
Best Schizophrenic Video Show
Zoo: The Visual Menagerie The Cavern
It's not often a Genesis music video will be followed by some campy obscure movie clip and then lead into the Aphex Twins. Joseph Howington transcends the DJ label by taking all the rules of mixing and throwing them out the window. Perfecting his set at the Fallout Lounge last year, he fits perfectly into the Cavern's mlange of not-your-typical DJs. Mixing videos and music isn't a new idea, but the random playlist Howington gives the upstairs lounge does one of two things: He will either entrance you as you sit and anticipate his next tune, or he will put you on your feet. The fun part comes when asking him to play a certain video. Will he have it or not? Hard to say, but buying him a drink tends to help.
Best Daily Newspaper Columnist
Scott Burns, The Dallas Morning News
Practical but adventurous, logical but entertaining, business columnist Scott Burns made reading about boring stuff like retirement savings, estate planning and buying the perfect used Airstream trailer a lot of fun. OK, if not fun, then interesting. Burns was not part of the financial establishment, so he had no vested interests, almost impossible in the business of financial advice where everybody's selling something. He thought outside the box. Instead of giving advice on earning an extra $500 a month, he stressed finding ways to cut $500 in expenses. And most important, Burns reported on research firms and investment advisors that normal people have no access to. Yeah, it's easy to glaze over some of the details involving consumption indexes. But with most business writers stressing how to earn more, invest more, spend more, it was nice to see someone write about how to live more simply. Guess Burns can take some of his own good advice now. He was one of the journos to do the recent buy-out thing, though his syndicated column will still appear in the pages of the DMN.
Is there a better way to describe the Theater Fire than "the Fort Worth sound"? It's the phrase co-songwriter Curtis Glenn Heath picks when asked about the "border sound" tag the band has received countless times, thanks to its blend of mariachi and country. But there's more than a mix of classic AM radio signals at work on Everybody Has a Dark Side. Singers Heath and Don Feagin honed their songwriting chops during years in local space-rock bands, and that experience is evident in this sophomore album's all-acoustic arrangements. From the ambient tones filling the air of the sparse "Civil Warrior," to the contrasting, poking notes of banjo, fiddle and vibraphone in the title track, the stories of Southern vulnerability match the sound perfectly. "Useless and awkward/Like a flightless bird," Heath whimpers in his loving ode, "These Tears Could Rust a Train." In this song, a piece of pure songwriting with living room production that allows an acoustic slide guitar to echo as much as his sentiment, the Fort Worth sound doesn't get clearer.
Best Place That Is a Drag
The Rose Room Theater and Lounge
The Rose Room is simply fantastic. With more than ample space for patrons, whether sitting at a row of tables, standing at the bar or flanking the stage, this place gets it right for high-quality drag shows. It's also drag queen heaven with a huge stage and even a dressing room. According to cast regular Cassie Nova, the previous accommodations were no bigger than a closet. There's irony in there somewhere. But with slick digs comes better drag shows, and the ladies give it all for your viewing pleasure. It's almost a shame the venue isn't used more for live music. Bands would probably kill to play here. But they'd have to go through Nova and the rest of the cast. And they have fingernails!
Nobody wants their tech support guy to be evil. It's emasculating enough that you can't make that 279-Error window go away, but does the guy really have to act like it's just so freaking easy? Dr. Emilio Bombay, the Star-Telegram's computer columnist, would likely answer a hearty "Yes!" to that question, followed by a long tirade about how you are, in fact, a blithering idiot. Yikes. Honing sarcasm down to a fine, fine art not seen in most major-market newspapers, Bombay manages to be both helpful and truly vile at the same time, as he responds to reader questions about tech problems, Internet privacy issues and the odd hardware bug. If you're like us, you'll always like the guy so long as you don't get any big ideas and write in. After one of his sharp skewerings, you'll tremble so hard at the sight of a Startle Gram you won't even be able to pick the thing up.
The first time we walked into Rogers Wildlife, Kathy Rogers was slicing up frozen baby mice. Their oozing red guts made us pause for a moment, forgetting why we were there. Then she showed us what the mice were for--barn owls that someone had rescued from a deer blind, barely downy and obviously helpless. Rogers seemed surprised that we wanted to walk around the place, but she welcomed us. The large property is home to an avian rehabilitation facility that treats songbirds and raptors plus a score of other animals Rogers has taken in as part of her USDA-licensed farm sanctuary. Rogers and her staff are always looking for volunteers to help care for the animals and the center. Not saying that any of our dear readers would ever be ordered by a court to perform community service, but if perchance you were, the wildlife center would be glad for your help.
An insightful writer in spite of--or perhaps because of--his reflective hatred of everything suburban, Dallas Morning News architecture critic David Dillon was a must-read in a city that is rapidly redefining how it looks. As new high-rises sprang up overnight, Dillon deftly cataloged the good, the bad and the sprawling, often making you wish planners had bothered to consult him personally before breaking ground. His reporting and commentary on Victory Park was fascinating, illustrating how the project emphasizes "streets, blocks and squares" unlike most of the city's flashy throw-'em-ups, which only look terrific from far away. Also memorable, his dressing-down of the horrific new shopping center at McKinney and Pearl. Dillon could be pretentious. His coverage of "Forward Dallas" was confused. But like all good critics, his value system was transparent. With Dallas battling futilely against suburban sprawl and urban blight, Dillon, yet another fine columnist lost to readers by the DMN's recent get-out/buyouts, pointed the way to what a real city could look like.
Maybe the first date is not the time to try to impress a woman with tales of your extensive gun collection (unless you're in East Texas, in which case it may win you a lot of points). Of course, you could just skip the small talk and take your date right to the Bullet Trap, where she'll whisper sweet nothings to you while you unload magazine after magazine from your Glock into a silhouette target. Or if you're not comfortable, uh, shooting on the first date, you can peruse their impressive selection of new and used firearms and accessories. (Tell her that if she's lucky, maybe she'll find a derringer in her stocking next Christmas.) If your lady's a safety girl, they offer classes for the novice and classes to qualify for a concealed-handgun permit. If you're packin', you want to make sure your woman knows how to handle your gun.
Best Place to Endure a Communal Hangover
Gachet Coffee Lounge
Some people wake up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed on weekend mornings, ready to start their day with a jog 'round the lake or a trip to Whole Foods for some 40-grain, organic, free-range granola. Other people have to peel themselves off a drool-covered pillow and throw back three or four ibuprofen with a quart of steaming Colombian brew before anybody gets any big ideas about grocery shopping. Lament not, members of the second group; Gachet Coffee Lounge feels your pain. On Saturday mornings, a steady flow of hangover sufferers stumble into Gachet smelling of eau-de-last-night's-party. The baristas are gracious enough not to overdo the cheer--no morning with a hangover is a "good" morning, after all--and the custom brews are sure to brighten your eyes even if they don't bush up your tail. Not so bad when you consider you may run into Friday night's piece of tail at the milk-and-sugar stand. Awkward.
Although he would hate to be referred to as the conscience of southern Dallas, Michael Davis has claimed the holy ground between the unethical and hapless political leadership of the southern sector and their bigoted and hypocritical detractors. A smart blogger whose reporting on city events is often a step or two ahead of the lumbering Dallas Morning News, Davis is more than just a critic. He's been active campaigning against southern Dallas' tired political guard, arguing in favor of new, reform-minded leadership. He's also helped wage a successful fight to close down a notorious hot sheet motel in Fair Park. His blog, Dallasprogress.blogspot.com, gives readers a snapshot into his progressive world view. He loathes the smarmy leadership of city council member Leo Chaney while being equally dismissive of the Dallas Police Department's recent assertion that a hip-hop song led to a shooting death. Davis pays attention to the minutiae of city affairs, while turning his sharp gaze north of the Trinity.
Although the formula for pop culture blogs is relatively simple--a mix of embarrassing photos, a little gossip and quick, bitchy put-downs--few people know how to do it really well. Some try to make their pop culture blog a scholarly treatise on entertainment, while others try to reinvent themselves as the next Janet Maslin (the New York Times' notoriously picky culture critic). But the local co-authors of Pope-rahsays.blogspot.com realize just what you want to read at work: quick-to-read-gems of pop culture silliness, including photos of Paris Hilton with funny one-liners about her huge, manly feet--who knew?--and embarrassing party pics of Lindsay Lohan with catty comments about how rapidly she's aging (think bad dude in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade). This is not a blog that's going to change the world, the city or even your mind, but for the times at work when you need a brain break, this blog is mental Club Med.
Sometimes, you just want to take off all your clothes and have someone rub lotion all over your body--in the middle of a workday. Before Massage Envy came along, the only way of fulfilling this basic human need was to deal with some unsavory characters over on Northwest Highway. But now, every respectable achy back with $39 can call upon a certified massage therapist for aid at a moment's notice. The Massage Envy mantra is this: Everyone deserves a professional, affordable massage. Walk-ins are welcome, and members even more so, though the $39 is only for first-timers. After you join, a $49 monthly fee gets you one hour-long massage and discounts on subsequent massages. Tell your boss you're taking a long lunch today. You've got to go lie around in your underwear for an hour.
Dallas supports a strange and wonderful little industry of professional book reviewers. Not the ones who read a new best-seller and type 500 words of yay or nay. These folks perform the books. At churches, country clubs and women's luncheon groups, the book reviewers bring their tomes alive. More than 75 times this year Dr. Lurline Morrow, currently one of the most in-demand and most entertaining among the area's 40 to 50 professional reviewers, has been booked to do her one-woman/one-book act. She's packed the house at Highland Park United Methodist's popular speakers' series and now is busy all over Dallas (and as far away as Wyoming) presenting her new take on the biography Chanel: A Woman of Her Own (in the past she's done books on the scandal-ridden Gucci and Vanderbilt families). Her audience isn't expected to read the book or discuss it. Morrow admits that what she does is "purely for entertainment." But along with relating juicy facts about her subject, she's known to delve into the psychological profiles of the rich and famous. Part lecturer, part literary stand-up comic, Morrow's a star on the tea-sandwich circuit.
Rising gas prices be damned, bands from across the country still fill their van tanks with enough unleaded to reach our city's rock clubs. But with no money left over for a booking agent, how's an upstart band supposed to find a decent place to play? Surprisingly, the area has a few booming do-it-yourself venues that are happy to accommodate, and the hands-down leader of the rising D.I.Y. scene is the Metrognome Collective. This isn't just some barren room with a single speaker and a guy banging on an oboe with a spoon; the space is a complete artistic statement, from its large art gallery to its stellar reputation for netting some of the best twee, avant-garde and garage-rock bands that even local hipsters haven't heard of yet. Just make sure to visit the venue's Web site for directions, or you'll blink and miss the location...they don't call it D.I.Y. for nothing.
Best Place to Get Horizontal
Grassy shores of White Rock Lake
No, not that kind of horizontal, you perv. We mean the kind of horizontal involving a picnic blanket, a sack lunch and a lazy afternoon nap in the sun. Grab your honey and stake out a spot on the east shore of White Rock Lake with a prime downtown view. Bring the dog for a little Frisbee, or just ask that guy over there if you can borrow his. We're sure he won't mind, since folks chilling out at White Rock are of the most agreeable demeanor. Just be sure to give the pooch back before your sundown mug-down with the aforementioned honey, otherwise you're just being tacky.
At a time when restaurants, music venues and other generally sane business owners were running with tails tucked between legs away from Deep Ellum (or being shuffled out by landlords owed back rent), the Art Prostitute Gallery bravely took up residence in a ground floor loft on the east end of Commerce. Mark Searcy moved his gallery south from Denton, and the despairing Dallas neighborhood thanks him for it. His openings are legendary, the cavernous space echoing with the sounds of a good DJ who knows his indie rock and hip-hop, and booming with the plentiful laughter of all kinds of art fans. Shoulder to shoulder, the sunglasses-indoors types schmooze with Goths and gutter punks. Thanks to Art Prostitute's fearless shows of edgy pop and modern art, hipsters are now going where no hipsters have gone before--or at least not gone for a very long time.
You don't exactly head to Ye Olde Cineplex for the eye candy, do you? Sure, the popcorn vendor kid isn't bad-looking, except for that weird lip piercing, but all in all, there's just not much to look at. Not so at the Belmont Hotel's "B-Reel at the Belmont" movie night out by the pool. The Oak Cliff hotel's got a swingin' retro style happening, and the rectangular pool is the very definition of "too cool for school." But the best part is the long-range view of downtown Dallas from your lawn chair. Sure, the movie's probably pretty interesting, since B-Reel plays only the finest in B-movie gems, but you just might find yourself following the skyline more than the plot line.
Best Lonely Hearts Haven
The Ladies Room at Caf� San Miguel
Many a single gal in Texas between the ages of 15 and 50 might find comfort for the lovelorn heart in spot-on Mexican food with the girls. And copious amounts of sangria. Of course, nursing loneliness with alcohol and delicious tacos Pacifico is fine, but how 'bout some preventive measures? Say, for instance, a trip to Caf San Miguel's ladies room (stick with us here). The super-clean lavatory is painted with giant rose petals and tiled in a beautiful red. But the real kicker is the shrine to St. Anthony (Antonio in Latin cultures) above the sink. You know, St. Anthony, often recognized as the marriage saint--patron saint of "find me a husband!" Along with a statue of the holy matchmaker (appropriately standing on his head until he delivers) are tin-framed illustrations and prayers for mates to come. Of course, our secret is now blown. Our friends just thought the caf's pomeritas (pomegranate margaritas) went right through us--they didn't know we've actually been praying over the porcelain god.
Normally, we'd log onto MySpace.com before we'd pick up our PlayStation 2 controller, but that's just because we're bored with our games. We've played them a hundred times over, and we're typically too lazy to pull out the DDR mat. But we've discovered something that tops surfing bulletins and hoping you have a "New Messages!" alert: Kewlbox.com. Blockdot, the Dallas-based "advergaming" firm, has provided us, the bored and technologically obsessed, with something to do that isn't quite so self-involved. We'd even go so far as to say the 100 or so free games (most available for online play with an option to download, and covering action/adventure, puzzle/strategy and arcade/fun) might be a healthy alternative to MySpace. Topsy Turvy keeps the eyes active, Fowl Words works the vocab and even advergames such as summer's Luck of the Straw for Sonic make brainwashing terribly fun and stress-free.
Best Adventure Club
Sunday Nights at Thomas & Leggitt Tavern
Sunday nights aren't for Desperate Housewives and a reasonable bedtime. Granted, you probably think the good music ends when Josh Venable signs off from the Adventure Club on KDGE at 9 p.m. Not so. There are pints and Brit pop to be had with Mr. Adventure himself downtown at the Stone Street walkway-accessible Thomas & Leggitt Tavern from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. There's no cover, and the crowd varies week to week. The outdoor patio might be packed with canines and their companions kicking back, or inside it may be a full-on sing-along if the timing is right and Venable busts out something along the lines of Pulp's "Common People," an old Chomsky favorite or an Elvis Costello classic. If the audience is five or 50, Venable never disappoints, so reclaim Sunday night and choose your own adventure.
A night out at this new downtown theater might find you in the middle of an adult clown act or an evening of Cole Porter. Comedy and cabaret rule at this small, elegant theater tucked between Campisi's and the Thomas and Leggitt Tavern on Main and Stone Streets. While Stone is more of an alley than street, you walk in as if you've discovered something no one else knows about, despite the crowded dinner patio next door. But that's just it. With a minimal advertising budget, Stone Street is struggling to find an audience. And while it wants to cater to the downtown denizens, most of the patrons come from elsewhere, according to artistic co-director John Davies. Discover this performance space now, before a small jewel in the big city is lost. And take a friend. In fact, take several.
For three months every summer, stingy but smart 20- and 30-something couples pack a picnic and a bottle of wine and head to White Rock Lake for the free concert series, Cool Thursdays. Actually, the series is not exactly free and it takes place at the Dallas Arboretum, but you can hear the bands just fine on the freeloading side of the fence right next to White Rock Lake. Typically, it's quite the scene. Perhaps there's some sort of honor-among-thieves camaraderie going on, but the moochers seem more eager to strike up a friendly conversation with complete strangers than the stuffy customers who see nothing wrong with spending the $14 ticket price on an Eagles cover band and other like-minded acts. Adding to the festive atmosphere of the free concert seats, sailboats from the nearby marina drop by to hear a song or two before floating away into the sunset.
Best Two-Wheel Rivalry
The Blue Goose vs. The Dubliner, Sundays
Cruise down Lower Greenville any given Sunday and you'll hear the distinctive brrruub-brrruub-brrrrrrrruub of big bad motorcycles. And they're all headed one place: The Blue Goose. For hours, the bikes--choppers, hogs, you name it--are lined up outside the Tex-Mex restaurant as their riders carouse over tacos, enchiladas and festive libations. But these often leather-clad folk aren't the only two-wheelers looking for a little Sunday afternoon camaraderie. Around 2 or 3 p.m., another distinctive sound can be heard. It's the higher-pitched whirrr indicative of a scooter--a Vespa, a Honda Metropolitan, you name it. The mod squad begins to show up, stylishly dressed, in numbers not quite as large as their meatier opponents, for pints and the occasional Welsh rarebit at The Dubliner. Even with rarely a shout lobbed between the opposing motor squads, Sunday is all geared up (ba-dum-dum) at the Greenville cantina and the Irish pub.
All the time, we hear "White Rock Lake Dog Park this" and "White Rock Lake Dog Park that," but we never hear much about Bark Park Central. And we should. The off-leash dog park, which sits just under Central Expressway at the edge of Deep Ellum, is open 5 a.m. to midnight Tuesdays through Sundays and has lush, well-maintained grass and numerous places for humans to hang while the doggers have a ball or two. The water fountains are unusually clean and most important, the park has an exceptional amount of shaded area. Many patrons of Bark Park Central live in the nearby lofts and apartments and, in our experience, are friendly and helpful to new urban pups. Park patrons also get top scores for responsible poop scooping.
For the thousands of harried night commuters glancing at the illuminated signage of the stately South Side on Lamar apartment building, urban living has to seem awfully tempting. Instead of living in a garden-variety gated apartment or soulless McMansion, you could hang your hat in a stylish-looking set of rooms that is almost universally described as cool. Despite its massive brick faade, the South Side manages to look friendly and engaging, cutting a distinctive figure in a city where just about every other apartment looks like it came off an old Soviet assembly line. Every city has a short list of buildings that define its character. The towering South Side stands out amid the nighttime sheen of Dallas' empty glass towers.
Best Karma Balance to the Bush Library
Embrey Human Rights Education Program
With a $1 million grant from the Embrey Family Foundation, human rights activist and educator Dr. Rick Halperin fulfills his longtime dream to bring more attention and more students to the study of human rights. With this four-year grant, Halperin, recently elected to his third term as chair of Amnesty International USA, will offer new classes on the topic in SMU's Dedman College, invite human rights scholars to campus and take students abroad to see up-close where historic genocides were committed (he recently guided a group to Rwanda and will return to Poland in December for an annual pilgrimage to the sites of Nazi death camps). This year's winner of SMU's top teaching award, Halperin has a reputation as a tough but fair professor whose classes change hearts and minds (not an easy task in W-loving environs). "If students want a world without torture, terrorism, genocide and other human rights violations, they must be prepared to become both better-educated and active in the struggle for social justice and human decency," Halperin says. At a school expected to erect a multimillion-dollar library for a war-starting prez, it's good to see some bucks being used to teach peace.
A friend once said, "Well, you know it's a good patio if my mother will sit there." She went on to discuss the cool temperatures, ease of seating and the lively but not too intrusive atmosphere required to appease her high-maintenance madre. We had one in mind, but she had already begun to confirm, "She'll really only sit on the patio at Matt's." Matt's Rancho Martinez has been a long-time provider of mouth-watering Tex-Mex to the residents of Lakewood and beyond, but over the years, the restaurant's patio has become a beloved place to experience said mouth-watering. Festive lights, ample shade and rustic tables offer a homey feel and Old World vibe while the cold beer and hot food are nothing but fresh.
Best Annual Charity Benefit Concert
Special Care & Career Services
Special Care & Career Services supports children, adults and families with developmental disabilities by providing key services to Dallas, Collin and Denton counties with two age-determined programs: Early Childhood Intervention and Supported Employment Services. In addition to the great work they provide to the community, they also offer an annual concert that has proven to be a smashing success year after year. The key is the tremendous diversity of the talent. Staged at the Meyerson Symphony Center, recent benefit concerts have included knockout performances from a deliciously wide range of musical stars, from Tony Bennett to k.d. lang to Tom Jones. The legendary Ray Charles gave one of his most memorable performances at the 2003 event just months before his passing. Plans are already well under way for the 2007 concert on April 1, again at the Meyerson.
There are many bars you can go to around town if you're looking to hook up. Of course, the blaring music, exorbitant drink prices and plethora of douchebags in striped button-down shirts may make it a challenging task, but it can be done. Enter a revolution in the bar scene: a cool, cheap dive known for great music, a diverse crowd and an excellent name. Lee Harvey's. Take a stroll through Lee Harvey's giant front yard one breezy weekend evening. If you meander around the picnic tables, listening to the live band tear it up in the distance, you'll note one important thing. You might actually meet somebody at this bar. Outdoor seating--and Lee's has plenty of it--just makes people friendlier. So does a bucket of Lone Star for your hottie of choice and his or her friends. In no time, you'll be enjoying the benefits of an outdoor romance, no matter what the temperature. If it's cold, you can snuggle up around one of Lee Harvey's outdoor fires. If it's hot, well, we may need to head home a little early, since that tank top just looks so, so very constricting.
Best Place to Meet Hot East Dallas Soccer Moms
Whole Foods Market on Lower Greenville
You'll spot her dressed in expensive workout clothes as she comes in search of yogurt-covered pecans, free-range chicken and organic strawberries. She looks a little harried and more than a little forlorn. Her husband is working late while her kids are easily placated with a frozen pizza from Minyard's. She's not here for anyone but herself, looking for fresh produce and lean turkey so she can retain her youthful figure. Not that he'll notice, but that won't stop her from trying. The Whole Foods Market on Lower Greenville offers the freshest grapefruit juice, the richest chocolate, a range of natural foods and some of the best-looking older women in Dallas, many of whom seem like they're looking for love in all the organic places. Maybe it's Whole Foods' close proximity to Lakewood or the surrounding M Streets neighborhood, or perhaps the allure of Lower Greenville reminds many a MILF of a more exciting period in their lives, but this particular natural grocery store brings all the girls to the yard.
Time Magazine calls it one of the top five professional theaters for kids in the nation. But at any performance in the gorgeous, audience-friendly acting spaces at the 58,000-square-foot Rosewood Center for Family Arts, more than half the crowd will be happy grown-ups, many seeing the show without any children in tow. That's how good they are here. Founded by Robyn Flatt (daughter of Dallas Theater Center pioneer Paul Baker), DCT goes all out on every production, casting the best actors, using top directors and spending what it takes to make shows artistically masterful. While other theaters struggle to sell tickets, DCT plays to packed houses, garnering international acclaim (they took their tour version of The Stinky Cheese Man to China this month for the 2006 Shanghai International Children's Culture and Arts Expo). In their theater education classes, they're developing young theater lovers, for which all theaters should be eternally grateful. Financially, it's in great shape too. And they do have eyes for talent. Emerson Collins, who co-starred in the road tour of Southern Baptist Sissies at the Majestic recently, got his start as a teen at DCT, playing Hans Brinker. On this season's DCT lineup, catch Night of the Living Dead (October 13 to November 4), The Velveteen Rabbit (November 17 to December 17) and The Miracle Worker (January 26 to February 18).
This selection is perhaps unduly influenced by the unfortunate fact that we're reporters. Attorneys might prefer Ghost Bar; doctors drown their sorrows at Primo's. Laborers at insurance firms likely choose to forget about life for a while at any chain restaurant offering some variation of the Bloomin' Onion. We prefer the Old Monk, which is an affable and engaging setting for anyone who likes to talk to old friends and meet new people. The haphazard way the Old Monk is laid out allows for friends to drink together and strangers to stumble onto each other, which basically is a reporter's MO: Meet new sources, maintain old ones. An impressive selection of import beers on tap, a spacious outdoor patio and a central location contribute to the Old Monk's allure.
Now in its 16th season presenting plays they hope will "provoke, challenge and amaze" (according to their mission statement), Kitchen Dog Theater, founded by SMU theater grads, is one of the few local theaters to host a full company of artists. Some 29 actors, directors, designers and playwrights comprise KDT's professional company, making for a diverse and exciting artistic family. Among them: actors Ian Leson, Rhonda Boutte, Shelley Tharp-Payton, Christina Vela and John Flores; playwrights Lee Trull and Vicki Caroline Cheatwood; designers Christina Dickson, Russell K. Dyer and Emily Young; and co-artistic directors Tina Parker and Christopher Carlos. Opening the current season with Neil LaBute's controversial Fat Pig (through October 21), Kitchen Dog just keeps turning up the heat.
The Ginger Man offers 77,343 different beers on draft. At least that's what it looks like when you're saddled up at the bar staring at the glorious line of taps offering visions of a beer-soaked paradise. Offering every type of beer imaginable, including those flavored with apricots and coffee, the Ginger Man is to discerning drinkers what the Apple Store is to people with a Mac fetish. Located on Boll Street on the fringes of Uptown Dallas, the Ginger Man has its share of 30-something frat boys who refer to beer as brewskies and inexplicably appreciate the bar's frumpy taste in live music, but after a drink or seven even Kappa Alphas don't seem so bad.
Actors trust Cheryl Denson, a longtime Dallas theater actor and now a much in-demand director. She's not a crack-the-whip type, doesn't bury herself in trivial research, never screams at the slackers. She just gets it done, making the process a lot of fun. An expert with comedies but no slouch with musicals and dramas, Denson, a Baylor grad with an MFA from Trinity University, deflects praise that comes her way. "It's not about just me. I watched directors work when I acted all those years and watched them make it about their work only. I hated that as an actor," she says. Theater, she says, ought to feel embracing and it ought to feel safe. "We're all exposing the rawest part of ourselves to do that. You can't have fearful actors." Booked a year in advance with directing jobs, Denson next takes the reins of Last Night of Ballyhoo at Contemporary Theatre of Dallas, then Master Class at Lyric Stage. Next time you see a really good show, check for Denson's name in the program. Good directors such as her rarely get the applause they deserve.
There are joints that bill bigger acts (Billy Bob's), and there are joints where ladies ride mechanical bulls (Gilley's), but nothing says honky-tonk like Adair's Saloon in Deep Ellum. It's where you go if you want to hear no-frills, stripped-to-the-bone country. It's a rough and tumblin' kind of place, a shitty little dive with a small stage, small tables and plenty of beer. And it's one of the last places in town where for a couple bucks you can hear real country, as opposed to that Kenny Chesney sun-going-down Caribbean bullshit.
In Danny and the Deep Blue Sea at the Bath House, she was Roberta, desperately needy and starved for a sexual connection with somebody, anybody. In A Moon for the Misbegotten at Circle Theatre, she was Josie, an Irish-American pig farmer's wife, desperately needy and starved forwell, you see the pattern. Playing beautiful but quirky women with a certain seething sexuality, Heather Henry, 33, has made an unforgettable impression on theatergoers in a series of tough roles over the past year. A SUNY-Purchase grad (like Edie Falco and Stanley Tucci), Henry arrived in Dallas after not acting for six years. Her comeback role was a doozy, playing a boozy slattern in Killer Joe at the MAC. "I think I was cast because I was willing to do it naked. I had to come onstage in a white T-shirt and my frickin' double-D boobs," Henry recalls. She's since worked at WaterTower and Classical Acting Company, where she recently co-starred as the woman who seduces Willy Loman in Death of a Salesman. She's also lost 100 pounds she'd gained during the lay-off from showbiz. "Now directors don't know what to do with me!" she says. Giving her more good roles would be a start.
If you bought a ticket to any Dallas theater this past year, you probably saw Ian Leson onstage. The guy worked everywhere, getting roles he admits put him on an enviable hot streak. First, Bug, a sell-out at Kitchen Dog with Leson playing a meth-crazed guy holed up stark naked in a motel room. Then Living Out at WaterTower, as a Yuppie liberal who almost jumps in the sack with the nanny. Then Visiting Mr. Green at Contemporary Theatre of Dallas, a two-hander starring Leson as a gay New Yorker doing court-ordered visits to a grouchy old widower (the grand Jerry Russell). Throw in appearances at the Out of the Loop Fest, plus staged readings here and there, and Leson, who owns a Preston Center Pilates studio with wife Jennifer, barely had a night off. The SMU theater grad is a director's fave and recently was named a company member at Kitchen Dog, where he's playing the male lead in Neil LaBute's Fat Pig through October 21. Now, says Leson, "I have this urge to do a musical. Because it would terrify me."
Twenty years ago, old-timers will tell you, Frisco was dirt roads and corn fields. Now it's rapidly becoming like the rest of Dallas. There remains one patch of dirt amidst all this urban sprawl where one can pet a donkey, ride a horse or simply smell the aroma of fresh manure. It's the Frisco Horse Park. It's right off Highway 121, across the street from 7-Eleven, down a rutted dirt road, through a field of dying dandelions, beyond a chipped white fence. The clapboard office, rumor has it, was once a whorehouse. Now it's where you pay $35 to ride a horse for an hour. Better yet, pay $5 to put your kiddo on a pony for 10 minutes. But you better hurry, because before you know it, it will all be gone.
If you like the outdoors, you should probably move to a place where they don't allow every river to get all sullied up with beer cans and Funyons bags. But if you can't move, there are a number of woodsy options that are surprisingly close. Perhaps the best place to go camping is Cedar Hill State Park. This "urban nature preserve" includes 355 campsites, most of them fairly wooded. Each site has water, electricity, a fire ring, a lantern pole and a picnic table, and all are within walking distance of restrooms with hot showers. If you're not a sissy, there are 30 more campsites with no amenities whatsoever. Besides camping, there are more than 15 miles of mountain biking trails, a preserved 19th-century farm and the Joe Pool Reservoir, where you can swim, ride jet skis or just chill out on a house boat.
Onstage he burns with the sexy intensity of a young Marlon Brando (head shaved Colonel Kurtz-style), the subtle passion of Ed Harris and sometimes the borderline serial killer rage of Kevin Spacey at his scariest. Standing still, Clay Yocum, 29, is the most interesting actor on any stage and the best young thesp to come this way in years. In his local debut in WingSpan's Danny and the Deep Blue Sea, he gave a performance so raw and sexual it made the audience feel like voyeurs. Next he played the racist rube with a killer fastball in WaterTower's hit run of Take Me Out. Recently he won the plum role of Biff Loman in Classical Acting's Death of a Salesman. In real life, the University of Oklahoma grad is a gentle sort. He started acting as a child, moving with his mom to L.A. for a year when he was 11 to make casting rounds. Now he works with troubled students at a Flower Mound middle school by day and thrills audiences at night. "I'm humbled and overwhelmed with the opportunities I've had in the last year," says Yocum. Sounds like a great start to an acceptance speech.
Who knew that vast herds of tongue-wagging, snot-nosed, dust-covered cattle once passed through the Big D on their way to Kansas, where they would be carved into rump roasts and rib eyes? Well, most everybody, but it's easy to forget, because other than the Dallas Cowboys and Western Warehouse, you'd never guess Dallas was once a cow town. Thank the Lord for the Heritage Farmstead Museum in Plano for preserving a bit of the Old West and reminding us that for all its romance, the era kinda sucked. Check out the sheep, the one-room school house, the rusting tractors, the herb garden and the chicken coop. And then get in your car, blast the A/C and thank God that you were born 150 years later.
It's impossible to listen to Gary Floyd sing without smiling. Just can't happen. Long one of Dallas' favorite singer-songwriters, Gary has set hearts aflutter at local nightclubs and piano bars for years with his laid-back charm and velvety voice. He has released five splendid CDs featuring original tracks, cover songs and Christmas music. A favorite is 2004's Unbound, which lays down track after track of terrific tunes, especially the haunting title song. Accompanying himself on piano and armed with baby blues and a killer smile, Floyd sings with a catch in his voice that will catch you right in the heart. No longer content simply to sit behind a piano, Floyd gracefully made the transition from singer to star by appearing in Contemporary Theatre of Dallas' production of Pump Boys and Dinettes. Subsequent turns in King David (Lyric Stage) and Aida (Uptown Players), followed by this summer's triumph singing his head off and taking it all off in the demanding leading role in The Full Monty (Theatre Three), have solidified Floyd's status as Dallas' hottest musical theater star.
The parking lot is big enough for a Six Flags. The cavernous dance hall feels like a gutted Wal-Mart. This is a club so big and so popular that it's easy to get lost here. If you love to dance but feel stupid doing it, this is the perfect place to go. No one will notice. It's tough to single out one place as the best Latin club in town because Latin encompasses so many nationalities and musical styles, from reggaeton to hip-hop to salsa and merengue. But Escapade 2009 has a little bit of something for everyone. Downstairs they play Latin pop and rock as well as hip-hop and reggaeton, from Shakira to Mana to Daddy Yankee. Upstairs is more traditional music, such as salsa or merengue. 2009 is hands down the most popular Latin club in Dallas: It draws anywhere from 5,000 to 6,000 people each weekend night.
With so many awards shows becoming drawn-out snoozefests, the night of theater honors called the Column Awards offers a much-needed change of pace. The creation of actor/blogger John Garcia, this zippy event honors excellence throughout the DFW theatrical community. The winners are determined not by stuffy committees but by the subscribers to Garcia's biweekly blog, The Column. With some 8,000 subscribers eligible, this makes it a true "people's choice." And boy, do these people vote. In droves. This awards show is more party than pomp, however, and this year's seventh annual gala managed to present 56 awards and eight splashy musical production numbers in a mere two hours. How? A fast pace and no acceptance speeches. This year's show offered the additional allure of a real celebrity in the person of Broadway and film star Anthony Rapp (star of the stage and film versions of Rent). Gala No. 8 will be held in February or March. Applause to The Column Theatre Awards Gala, too, for donating all the money raised from ticket sales to Broadway Cares/Equity Fights Aids.
Easily the best-kept secret in the tony local opera enclave is the annual vocal competition for up-and-coming singers sponsored by The Dallas Opera Guild. Usually held in mid- to late March at Gooch Auditorium at UT Southwestern Medical Center, the competition was founded nearly 20 years ago to aid in the development of young opera singers. The auditions are open to all Texas residents between the ages of 18 and 30, and the awards are funded entirely through contributions garnered by Guild members. An afternoon preliminary round of auditions narrows the field to a top 10 who return in the evening to sing two arias. The level of singing ranges from satisfactory to sublime, and the repertoire represents all eras of operatic literature. A snooty blue-ribbon panel of judges makes the final calls, but one of the most fiercely contested battles is for the People's Choice Award which gives mere mortals the opportunity to participate. First-place winner in 2006 was the elegant Takesha Mesh Kizart, a 2003 UNT grad. But bringing down the house was youngster Steven LaBrie, 18, who sang with polish and panache beyond his years. As if enjoying the artistry of these exciting young singers isn't excuse enough to show up, a champagne and dessert reception is held after the singing is over. This event is free and open to the public. Bravo!
Best Intimate Evening
Intimate Evening Concert Series at Bend Studio
Be sure to wear clean socks if you're planning to attend the Intimate Evening Concert Series at Bend Studio. The place is a yoga studio by day, and you'll be asked to remove your shoes at the door. That's intimate, for sure, but being that close to the feet of 80-plus strangers is worth it. Shows at Bend are small, smoke-free affairs and an excellent alternative to the loud, crowded venues you would normally have to brave in order to see singer-songwriters such as Trish Murphy and Charlie Sexton. The series is the brainchild of Bend owner and yoga instructor Ally David. And besides being advertised by mostly word-of-mouth in the beginning, the first shows were a success, and now Bend offers a full schedule with weekly events. Way to go, Ally. Color us impressed.
KD Studio doesn't just teach actors how to hit their marks and not bump into the furniture. It's a place to study acting as craft and profession. Seriously. For 26 years, KD Studio has been training professional actors for stage, film and television and is one of the few accredited, degree-granting conservatories outside of New York or Los Angeles. The training is based on the proven philosophy of "learning by doing." Students act and produce short scenes for film and stage. The goal is to learn real skills for the real world. KD's acting workshops are designed for beginning actors, as well as those with performing experience. The programs are intense and hands-on and range in length from weekend-long special workshops to 15-month-long conservatory programs. How do you get to Broadway? Practice, practice, practiceand train, train, train. Students at KD get lessons from the impressive staff that includes veteran actors T.A. Taylor and John Davies in the acting division and longtime pros Michael Serrecchia and Mark Mullono in musical theater. Notable alumni include George Eads of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation and Julio Cedillo, who co-starred opposite Tommy Lee Jones in the award-winning movie The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada.
Admittedly, Monday nights at Amsterdam Bar are where jazz hounds can find the best bop/fusion performances in town, but a single weekly night does not a jazz club make. In that respect, Brooklyn already deserved the nod for best jazz club at their old Bishop Arts location; regulars such as Martha Burks and guests such as Montrose added a certifiable level of funk and fun to the otherwise stale smooth jazz genre, and the ambiance and crowd struck the right balance of sophisticated and loose. But you couldn't turn 5 degrees at the old, tiny shack without spilling a martini on someone in the tight crowd, so the new location's huge floor space (and additional outdoor patio) are a welcome boost to the club's five nights a week of lovely singers and funky musicians. Come for drinks, come for food or come to be seen, but definitely stick around for the show.
We wish this was a category with fierce competition, thanks to a Dallas scene loaded with a rich tapestry of blues hands who've lived through thunder and fire, surviving to tell their tales in raspy, hard-nosed song. But this isn't Mississippi, so we'll settle for at least one club getting it right, and the booking and atmosphere at Deep Ellum Blues has yet to be beaten by the rest of the blue-eyed soulsters around town. When the busiest bluesman in Dallas, Hash Brown, isn't holding court for his Thursday night residency, the best players from Dallas, Austin and all over the South make the best of the worst, including utter badasses such as Watermelon Slim and Andrew "Jr. Boy" Jones.
They say you gotta have a gimmick in showbiz. Well, a gimmick and an agent. The Horne Agency is a full-service, SAG-franchised talent agency representing adults and children in movies, television, commercials, industrials, radio, print and live performances. The agency, owned by co-founder Suzanne Horne, is a member of AFTRA/Screen Actor's Guild, Women in Film, Texas Association of Film/Tape Professionals and STAGE. She's known to be picky about whom she signs, but once you're in her fold she will go to the mat for you every time. It is as typical to see her at a far-flung suburban theater catching one of her actors in a low-profile stage show as it is to see her at a grungy art house faithfully watching one of her own in a low-rent indie film. That's loyalty, which is what many on her roster will tell you is one of her most outstanding attributes. Turn on your television and you'll see Horne Agency talent all over the place. Look, there's Bill Jenkins, Doug Miller, Cara Statham Serber and Denise Lee doing roles in national ad campaigns and TV series. Suzanne Horne gets the job done by getting actors jobs.
If you come to R.L.'s expecting a hard shot of the blues, blame the namesake, R.L. Griffin Jr., for your moment of disappointment. Minutes later, you'll blame him and his incredible house band for a damn good time, anyway. Despite the house's name, there aren't any blues tunes at this Palace; rather, it's a haven for Motown-era soul covers, open only on weekends to a capacity audience pretty much every night. Show up early to get dibs on table seating and bring a group (not to mention bottles of liquor, since the joint's BYOB), and you'll see why the house fetches a consistent crowd. Griffin's band, complete with a series of talented, rotating singers, is too busy having fun--and sounding mighty fine doing just that--to worry about the "blues" tag on the door.
Sure, their productions are terrific. Producer-actress Sue Birch and her loverly casts get giggly with British bedroom farces and raise the roof with shows such as the sexed-up Shakespeare they did last season. But adding to the big fun at Theatre Britain's stagings at Trinity River Arts Center are the delicious British intermish noshes. Brought over from the British Emporium in Grapevine, the snacks include English tooth-rotters such as Maltesers, Flake, Crunchies, Mars Bars, Cadbury's Buttons, Smarties, Wine Gums, Refreshers, Fruit Pastilles, Fruit Gums and<\f>Walkers Crisps (Plain, Salt & Vinegar, Cheese & Onion). So good are the edibles, sometimes the crunching threatens to drown out all Act 2 dialogue. But go ahead, munch away through Macbeth. Those salty crisps are worth the Thane of Cawdor's nasty looks.
Spune Productions has done the impossible, turning a small club on the meat-market strip of Lower Greenville into a truly viable music venue. In fact, Spune's booking prowess has landed countless crowd-drawing indie-rock acts from Man Man to Devendra Banhart...which has become a problem. The tiny room has only enough space for a few dozen patrons, and the stage is already crowded with musicians. Still, the club favors unknown acts, so some of the best bands are still subject to small crowds, and patrons can always escape the mass of bodies by going upstairs to see DJs spin the newest and most obscure tracks this side of Suede. At any rate, Dallasites are still coming out in droves to test their claustrophobia and see the finest in local and national rock, so Spune must be doing something right.
For years this has been the fossil farm of Dallas theater, the place where old plays, old actors and even older subscribers go to take naps. But this year, something happened at this dusty little theater-in-the-square. They woke up and started casting young, attractive, exciting-to-watch actors such as Lynn Blackburn, Ashley Wood, Gary Floyd and David Brown. Artistic director Jac Alder threw some real heat into the season (and made some money) with a hit extended run of The Full Monty. Yep, the boys took it all off in the movie-turned-musical, and the senior citizens who make up the fan base at T3 had to make room for a new crowd of theatergoers who'd just discovered this venue based on the good word-of-mouth (and nice reviews) for that show. This season has some fresh, challenging productions on the boards at T3, including Tennessee Williams' rarely done Vieux Carr (through October 15), Michael Frayn's critically praised Democracy (opening January 4) and Tony Kushner's Tony-winning musical Caroline, or Change (May). Between those they're also squeezing in The Odd Couple (April). Sometimes a nap can be refreshing.
With crystal meth addiction reaching epidemic numbers, it's good news to learn that Dallas has its own support system to deal with the crisis. The mission of Crystal Meth Anonymous (CMA) is to offer help to those for whom crystal meth has become a serious problem. It offers regular meetings, support and fellowship and creates a safe environment in which to stay clean. CMA utilizes a 12-step program to combat this insidious drug that has destroyed lives from coast to coast. CMA realizes it's an issue for our community, too, and offers regular meetings on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 7 p.m. It's well-known that admitting there is a problem is the first step to recovery. Perhaps a prudent next step is checking out CMA.
Rock Star: Supernova was the brainchild of Mtley Cre drummer Tommy Lee, who invited two other washed-up former "legends" to follow in the tattooed footsteps of INXS, who picked a new singer in the first season of this CBS talent contest. Making an immediate splash in the first week of the second season was Puerto Rican-born Dallas resident Zayra Alvarez. Her cover of the Evanescence hit "Bring Me to Life" drew mixed results, but her flashy costume, exotic beauty and rockin' bod made her an immediate hit with the judges. But Alvarez's rocky road to fame took a tumble in Week 2 when her take on The Kinks' "You Really Got Me" puzzled the panel. But they kept her around week after week. We suspect this had more to do with her skimpy outfits and outrageous persona than her vocal chops. Still, the former Deep Ellum Liquid Lounge regular made it into the final group of eight contestants. Like a delicious train wreck, you just couldn't look away when Alvarez was wailing.
Time was we used to motor the kids over there in the van during the holiday season to see the Santa sticking out of the second-story window like a burglar caught in the act. Then the kids grew up, and for the next few years we drove the dog over there on Christmas Eve because she liked to bark at the horse-drawn carriages and she seemed to enjoy the pretty lights (or maybe it was just getting to sit in the front seat). Then the dog passed away, so now we just pick up a hot chocolate and a cookie at Starbucks and drive ourselves from one end of swanky Beverly to the other, hazarding the bumper-to-bumper Benzes and marveling at the hugely tacky decorations rich people are willing to pile up on their perfectly manicured lawns to celebrate the birth of Our Lord. Yep, that's a helicopter on that acre of yard, delivering gifts to folks who already have everything.
Tucked away in an anonymous nook near White Rock Lake is one of the best-kept secrets in the local saloon society. There are many reasons to recommend this casual and comfy club, but the real hook is located outside. Two pools! One is for swimming (and water volleyball) while the other features a sliding board and side ledges for lounging. Also gracing the outdoor area are beach volleyball courts (with pristine sand) and a tiki bar pouring all your favorite potent potables. Inside, the deceptively large bar offers areas for music (occasionally featuring live entertainment) as well as video monitors usually displaying sporting events. Even better, you'll find plenty of corners for conversation. This place is so spacious that even at peak times you never get the cramped, jostled feeling that plagues so many other establishments. If munchies are required, BackYard Beach Bar offers a full menu of sandwiches, pastas and fried bar favorites.
Best Blog (That Isn't Named Unfair Park, Suckers)
FrontBurner
Absolutely, now that we're in the blogging biz, we're gonna insist till our dying breaths (any second now...wait...here they come...) that Unfair Park's as good as it gets. But we're kidding no one, right? We're still new to the game, and D's been at it for years; we'd be arrogant fools (like FrontBurner--so kidding) to lay claim to the title at this early date, which doesn't stop us at parties, but still. No, FrontBurner's the one to beat because Tim Rogers, Adam McGill and their cohorts are good at what they do--that Great White Snark thing goes a long way compared with the other comers who either take themselves too seriously (Dallas Blog, Unfair Park), ramble on way too long (Dallas Arena, Unfair Park) or don't update enough or have enough to keep us coming back more than once a month (every single blog operating under The Dallas Morning News banner, not Unfair Park). Dallas probably has more blogs per capita than any city outside of N.Y.C.; Christ, we'll even read Angela Hunt's on a slow day, and not just to look at the pictures, either. Still, while we love Dallas.org and Dallas Progress and the other players in this ever-expanding game, hey, FrontBurner's still the top dog. Or not. Ever heard of Unfair Park? It's awesome.
Best Chance to Catch a Rising Star
Heart of Texas Speech Tournament
Every October a collection of stellar teenage talent gathers under one roof to compete in the prestigious Heart of Texas tournament. This competition has a long and august history, making it an especially desired contest for young thespians. This invitational event has lured competitors from many regions of the country, sometimes from as far away as Florida and New Mexico. Of course, Texas and the Dallas area are well represented. These are the best and brightest in their respective schools, and the overall level of talent and professionalism belies the tender age of the participants. Many students choose to compete in the "Lincoln-Douglas debate" event, but it is the individual events where these future stars really shine. Categories include foreign and domestic extemporaneous speaking and original oratory, but the marquee events are humorous interpretation, dramatic interpretation and duet acting. The depth of preparation and commitment that these young thespians throw into their performances both astound and excite. The 2006 tournament is scheduled for October 20-21.
Nestled in a low-profile strip center near Maple Avenue, this modest cabaret fairly bursts with the hottest local talent. Fancy-schmancy it isn't, but cozy and comfy it is, and the friendly staff and patrons make everyone feel wanted and welcome. Although smoking is permitted, a state-of-the-art ventilation system keeps the air breathable for non-smokers, and the music is never too loud to inhibit conversation. Oh yeah, the music. Night after night, Phases has Dallas' most outstanding cabaret performers singing and playing their hearts out. Performer lineups and time schedules are somewhat flexible, so give a call or visit the Web site (phasesbar.com) for the current information. Open seven days a week, there are regular drink specials and even a complimentary Happy Hour buffet Fridays at 5 p.m. But it's the sublime music that will keep you coming back. Oh, had too much to drink or just feeling peckish? Walk a few doors down and carry out a pizza from Domino's. Gotta love it.
It's 2006. Everybody, their mom, their mom's mechanic and their dog have a blog. We've already heard all the hype about the democratization of information. The citizen reporter. What does it all mean? That some dude in Topeka can write an entry every day about advancements in drill technology? That some anonymous jerk in Fargo can opine about bands that, like, totally suck? What a wonderful Internet we have. Ugh. That's why when a truly remarkable Web site comes along, it's worth lauding. And we've got one right here in town. We're talking about the Fine Line, a comprehensive DFW music site run by the most famous music fan in town, Cindy Chaffin, and her partner in crime Amanda Newman. They update the Fine Line blog every single day with posts about what happened last night, what's going on tonight and who took pictures of it. Newman sponsors a weekly music showcase in Deep Ellum, and Chaffin is constantly posting audio and video footage of the shows she attends. Best of all? There's no freaking whining. If it sucks, Newman and Chaffin don't write about it, giving all their space to local music--of any genre--worth listening to.
The Youth Division around here would probably say this honor goes to Bar Belmont or the Lakewood Landing; kids, they like it hip and/or nasty and swear there's little difference anyway. But we're gonna have to agree with Esquire on this: In May, the magazine wrote of the Inwood Lounge that it "smells like gin, smoke, and warmed-up celluloid" and that its "key-shaped bar is the most inviting in the city." At the time, we were skeptical of the magazine's choice of so obvious a destination; surely, we figured, some place such as the Double Wide, the Old Monk, the Ginger Man, the Slip Inn, the Grapevine or Lee Harvey's would do Dallas a little better than the old stand-by that's been given a recent rehab by owners Mark C. and Todd W. So we went to every one of those joints in the interim, and more, and came away realizing, yeah, we took for granted our old home-away-from-home and need to visit the place more often. The martinis are as good as they've ever been, and trends be damned, it's still the coziest joint in town in which to sink into a sofa or melt into the water wall upon which we've tried to lean a few too many times.
What are we smoking, you ask? Uh...we'll take the Fifth on that one, but stay with us on this bridge thing. There's reason in our madness. See, we figure that regardless of what Dallas voters want or need, the city council will always have some large, pointless, high-dollar bauble on its priority list. They're like parakeets: They need something shiny in their cage to keep their brains occupied, some little bit of inanity to help them deal with the tedium of running City Hall. Besides, small-time politicos love building big monuments to themselves, and a fancy-schmancy suspension bridge over the Trinity Ditch...er, River...is much, much sexier than the more mundane stuff the city might actually need, such as parks, firehouses or a few hundred miles of repaved streets. Sure, the bridges seem kinda gaudy and a bit absurd--Is anyone really going to swap a vacation in San Francisco to come see our bridge over the mighty Trinity instead?--but as bad big ideas ago, the Calatrava Bridges are relatively harmless. So, let the council distract themselves with trying to scrounge enough money to turn the Trinity into the Seine. That'll never happen, but in the meantime, any minute spent on the bridges is a minute the council won't spend doing something worse.
Actually, this category was going to be called "Best Line in Which to Wait While Staring at Douchebags You Can't Believe You Want to Pay 20 Bucks to Hang Out With But Can't Think of Anything Better to Do Than Wait in Line With Douchebags." But it was just too long. Our editor made us change it to something more simplified, streamlined, dignified. When Ghostbar opened, we thought it would be the hippest hang in the city--what with that see-through platform, that glossy view of the city, the W brand name tattooed on its well-toned ass. We were wrong, though it is a good place to see stars from Prison Break, which isn't even the best show on Fox. Really, last time we were there--which was the first time we were there--Ghostbar was populated by people we've spent our whole lives trying to avoid (becoming). They don't dress like that during daylight hours, do they?
We asked your opinions on this one, and except for the usual load of ballot stuffers--you know who you are--we received any number of different answers. A couple of people suggested some version of "Best Fight Against Corporate America" for local coffeehouse Standard & Pours' trademark battle against financial services giant Standard & Poor's. (See our best coffeehouse entry). Oddly, their suggestions were all worded exactly alike. Oh, well, we like you anyway, S&P Coffee. There were a few shouts-out to local businesses, a few things we might include next year. (Best Open Mike Night--why didn't we think of that?) But our favorite choice in this category received exactly one vote from a reader. We think you'll agree it's a good one: "Best overall place to hang out when you get back home from being active duty: every single place I just listed." Well, you certainly sound glad to be back, and we know we're glad to have you back. Maybe we'll include that category next year in hope that it gets tons of votes from every single Dallas service man and woman now in Iraq and Afghanistan.
A certain testosterone-influenced contingent at the Observer would give Angela Hunt the nod for this award, and while she's a good council representative, our heart--as opposed to other body parts--belongs to Mitchell. Why? He's rich, so he's beholden to no one; his business is development, so he actually knows something about how the city works, or doesn't work; he treats tax dollars like they belong to the people who pay them; but best of all, he's so damn cranky. Watching Rasansky's face at council meetings as city staffers give convoluted non-answers to questions he poses is a delight. He looks like he's about that close to jumping up and giving someone a good shake. The man appears to live in a continual state of pissed-offness, an entirely reasonable reaction by any sane person sitting on either side of the council table. Besides, with Laura Miller heading off to enjoy the delights of motherhood next year (yeah, right), Rasansky is destined to become the one in a series of 14-1 council votes, and here at the Observer our motto is, "If 14 council members agree with a decision, it must be wrong." That makes Rasansky right more often than not.
Best Outdoor Kids' Retreat in 110-Degree Weather
Lake Highlands North Recreation Center
Two words: spray park. One more word: free. Really, of all the city-owned-and-operated rec centers, this is probably the nicest joint in the inventory, with a kinda-sorta-not-really sprawling water park for the kiddies, unusually refreshing summertime breezes for the folks and a DART train running nearby to entertain the whole family when it gets a little too waterlogged. And there's the usual playground, which only serves to further wear out the tykes just when you want the break; on-the-way-home naps ain't out of the ordinary after we visit.
Do you believe that a space can be aesthetically pleasing and still serve a purpose? Do you believe that good design can be achieved on a limited budget? Architectural designer Keith Petersen does, and damn, are we glad to hear it from someone local and not on HGTV. Petersen has taken the plunge and gone into business for himself. His first major solo project is the interior design and finish-out of the new Gachet Coffee Lounge at Victory Plaza (due to open in December). He's keeping with the modern development but taking pains to avoid a dystopian cold feel. "It's a space thought out for living," he says of the lounge, which will include a small bookstore. "You're supposed to enjoy what you do there." Finally, a designer who understands that people actually live in what he designs. Petersen notes that he takes inspiration from Christopher Alexander, Jane Jacobs and Tadao Ando and aims to use common design elements and materials in an unusual way. Could it behe's(gasp)creative and cost-conscious?
You're saying to yourself, "Various locations? How's that possible since I haven't even heard of the place?" Well, really, there are three of these water parks scattered throughout the area: in The Colony, Garland and near Executive Airport (known to the rest of us as Red Bird Airport). So there. Guess you don't have kids; shame. Then you would never know the joy of this luxurious H2O retreat that's about as decadent as you can get whilst still being ever-so-close to the Almighty. See, this place is full of the holy water; says so on the Web site, which says that HF's "relationship with God is our most important priority. Every part of our business is considered through this prism. Our goal is to draw closer to the Lord and to serve Him." Amazingly, that's the same mission of every Dallas Observer staffer; maybe that's why we love the Falls so, where workers are called "ambassadors" and serving hot dogs is the same as serving God. Whatever. The kids like it, and it does answer the age-old question: Where would Jesus take the kids to swim? We dare you: Have a bar mitzvah party there. C'mon. It'll be fun.
English teacher by day, comic book writer by night, David Hopkins creates true-to-life characters with remarkable powers that sometimes even they don't understand. The Arlington native released his second series, Emily Edison, through Irving's Viper Comics last summer. Though Emily is a story about a teenage super-heroine geared toward an all-ages audience, Hopkins didn't scrimp on the real-life drama in the series, putting superhero Emily between two feuding parents. It'd be kinda creepy that Hopkins could write a 15-year-old girl so well if he weren't such a swell guy. His inquisitive mind also hatched 2005's excellent graphic novel series Karma Incorporated, about a "non-lethal hit squad" who hire out their services to make others' lives miserable. Teenage girls and revenge. Honestly, what else would you want on an underground comic's mind?
Best Place in Dallas
Tending, (Blue) by James Turrell in the Nasher Sculpture Center
How often do you get to sit in a work of art? How often do you get to escape into a room that feels absolutely, totally, unconditionally cut off from the world around you, to the point where you feel kind of lost after a while? If your answer is "never," then clearly you have not trekked to the northern end of the Nasher Sculpture Center, where James Turrell's so-called "skyscape" awaits even the most claustrophobic among you and promises something close to nirvana. Since we can no more describe the place than we can say how it makes us feel--chilly in summer, warm in winter, wonderful always--then let the Nasher's Web site do it for us; we will add only that it's the only site-specific creation at the joint, which is fast becoming our favorite local retreat. Says the site about Turrell's creations: They're "enclosed spaces--rooms or free-standing structures--open to the sky through rectangular or circular apertures in the roof.<\f>While they appear to be architectural in nature, these spaces exist solely to create the light effects and perceptual events that constitute Turrell's art. To achieve his optical effects, Turrell coordinates a complex system of lights that run in concert with natural cycles of sunrise and sunset, and respond to constantly changing atmospheric conditions." See? Heaven.
Want to complain that the Polyphonic Spree has an unfair advantage in this category? Go right ahead. List all of the factors that make the Spree lopsided candidates, from the surplus of members (up to roughly 170 now, and that's not including the lion tamer...kidding) to the major-label support of Hollywood Records, to even the band's infrequent local gigs, and we'll offer only one response: All the more reason to see Dallas' colorful conductors when they play here. Always a better band on stage than on CD, the roughly two dozen robed warriors of the Spree are the local group everybody hates to love, but their symphonic bombast, choral shouts and manic crescendos still result in the most invigorating and smile-worthy shows anybody--from a total musical newbie to a hardened snob--can see in this city. Best of all, you still have time to purchase tickets for their annual Dallas Christmas concert. So take the kids, the parents and, heck, your grumpy self to Dallas' best reason to stop saying humbug.
Best View
"Prayer Mountain" at Mountain Creek Community Church
It's a peculiar place, not too far off Interstate 20 in Southwest Dallas, and few Dallasites even know it exists. You drive up the steep driveway, to the top of a hill that used to be the highest point in Dallas County (how it lost that status isn't quite clear; haven't seen any volcanoes or glaciers around here recently). You get out and wander around this quiet place, and pretty soon you're hit with a breathtaking, panoramic view of everything west of the city: from Joe Pool Lake, to undeveloped prairie, to the stacked peaks of brand-new McMansions in the valley below. Not a noise is heard on a hot, windless day except for the muffled drone of I-20. This is "Prayer Mountain," on the grounds of Mountain Creek Community Church, and "anyone from any church" can come here to pray and meditate on the grounds, which include wooden decks overlooking the cliff, picnic tables, a fountain and forest trails. They much prefer, though, that you direct your prayers to "the Lord." Prayer Mountain is open in the evening, too, so people coming home from work can unload their worries here. The best view in Dallas is at its loveliest at sunset, or when there's a full moon. And there are people who live on the grounds and watch the facility, so shake off the urban jitters for a moment and relax.
We've said it before on Unfair Park: To look at a painting by Jennifer Morgan is to be embraced by the artist herself. The incredibly prolific painter has an insane knack for putting herself into each of her works. And neither that skill, nor her raw talent, has gone anywhere despite a transformation in Morgan's work. Over the last year or so, her style has changed from more whimsical, feminine caricatures into a softer, more thoughtful, nature-driven series titled "We're All Pink." The female influence is still present in her newest works, but the images are brave and bold, even more empowered by their natural and animalistic themes. Layer after layer, Morgan paints emotion and energy onto the canvas to create what might appear to be just a moose paired with cherry blossoms or a great ape but is really a very personal portrait. We imagine it's that gentle, almost maternal cradle of the paintbrush that moves through the eyes of her subjects and wraps itself around the viewer of each of her paintings.
You need stats? We got stats: 85,000 gallons of "saltwater with marine life from around the world." A 22,000-gallon tunnel that allows you "to experience a panoramic view of reef life." Three webcams placed in with the manatees, otters and exotic birds. The eight-story Mundo Maya "immersion exhibit that takes visitors from the waters of the Yucatan's Gulf coast to the highland rainforests." Got that? What the kids dig most are the sharks and Mexican food and the waterfall. And being on the inside, where it always feels like a tropical jungle, no matter the weather. Last we looked there was supposed to be an aquarium at Fair Park; last we looked, it was as small as your neighbor's fish tank and half as clean. Till Dallas gets something along the lines of, oh, the Shedd in Chicago, this is about as good as it gets.
Best History in the Making
Zounds-Sounds Music Instruction
When you're a kid who just wants to rock, there is absolutely nothing worse than a guitar (or whatever instrument) instructor who wants to make you learn their favorite songs. In fact, we'd probably be crazy-skilled on the piano if we hadn't had to learn "Big Swiss Horn" and "Heart and Soul" instead of songs that truly inspired us. That sort of thing is why musician Marc Solomon created his school of rock. It's one that employs energetic, exciting teachers (you'll most likely have seen them in bands about town) who actually listen to the goals of their young pupils. It's one that teaches the Who, Springsteen, Black Sabbath and the worthy vestiges of new rock. It's also one that's grown so popular that Solomon and wife/business partner Mary Armstrong had to move to a larger space earlier this year. Zounds-Sounds offers rock shows instead of stuffy recitals and, even cooler, a chance for parents to throw up the rock horns right next to, or in support of, their kids.
A good portrait is hard to come by. Olan Mills and its smoky, swirly backdrops just don't cut it. No, environmental portraiture and a more natural expression is so the way to go. A person hanging out in normal surroundings will interact with the camera, not act for it. Conversely, a bride seated on a swing set, or someplace more casual and less stressful than a studio setting, will relax. These are techniques used by a good photographer. But Hal Samples is a great photographer. Though known mostly for gallery showings, Samples also shoots commissioned portraiture. But "commissioned" doesn't mean "less artful." What makes Samples so successful is his ability to expose the inner beauty, the spirit and the soul of his subjects. A combination of childlike enthusiasm and natural charisma exudes from the man, putting subjects--from small children to stuffy businessmen--instantly at ease. It is said that certain indigenous peoples believed a camera could steal one's soul. In this case, Hal Samples doesn't steal your soul with his camera; he coaxes it out of hiding and shows you what it looks like.
A night out at the bar. You've been knockin' back a Stella or 10 with your gang, maybe playing a little game of "Who Would You Rather?" (Ugh, Barbara Walters.) You're starting to get a little hungry. But you're smart, and you didn't drive to the bar, which means no trip to Jack in the Box for some grease pocket tacos. Better hope you're at the Old Monk, 'cause the Knox-Henderson staple kills every other burger-and-fries-servin' drinking establishment in town when it comes to bar food. Two words: cheese plate. Floppy, frozen french fries don't stand a chance against the Five Counties cheddar, tasty deli meats and tiny little gherkins on the Old Monk plate. If you want heftier fare, the Guinness beef stew will tide you over till you wake up from that hangover tomorrow around noon. And the sandwiches? Oh yes, the sandwiches are big enough for two jonesin' drinkers to feel plenty satisfied. After you've felt the love of the Old Monk, you'll never look at a 2 a.m. hamburger quite the same way. Or ever again.
Come on, do you really want anyone you know to see you gobbling down that third Fletcher's Corny Dog? That's just one of many reasons to wander the vast fairgrounds unaccompanied. It's so much more fun to hit the State Fair on your own than to have to constantly be negotiating: New cars or Polynesian dancers? The cover band at the Chevy Stage or a stroll over to the midway to lose a few dollars whacking moles with a mallet? If you're doing it on your own, you can improvise. Go ahead and try a deep-fried Oreo, then stop in and watch dogs chase Frisbees. Pet the sheep in the livestock pens and feel a catch in your throat as the farm kids cry when they have to auction their prize hogs off to the sausage makers. And if you've never ridden the Texas Star Ferris wheel, well, you never know who you might meet up there in the sky if you're flying solo. Corny, but doggone it, it's so great a place to explore, it's worth walking around the whole place one more time to see what you've missed
This longtime staple and only bar geared toward the ladies on the Cedar Springs strip ranks right up there with old faves JR's and Station 4. What sets this apart from the others is its friendly, welcoming style to anyone who walks through the door. Gay or straight, a good time is hard to miss with DJs spinning radio-friendly tunes for the dance floor or the huge outdoor patio that plays host to live bands throughout the week. While the boys know how to dance, the girls know how to rock. And if one band isn't enough, their occasional mini music fests, Breastfest and GirlJam, are daylong outings worth the time. Kudos to Sue Ellen's for offering a live music scene, albeit a small one, to the Oak Lawn area.
Smoky dive kinda mood? You need Etta James. Worn-in C&W? George Jones and Willie Nelson. Burger and board games? Maybe some Pretenders or even Iggy Pop (hey, it's motivating). Barstool hook-up, football halftime or de-stressing happy hour. The sweet, sweet golden juke at the Landing has any mood covered. Hell, in our opinion, any machine with "Stop the Wedding," "He Stopped Loving Her Today" and the ubiquitous feel-good of "Solsbury Hill" runs the gamut of anything we could possibly be feeling. That, in a bar that always makes us feel at home, makes for one helluva perfect destination.
Go ahead, you buttoned-down, 9-to-5, bourgeois automatons, buy your coffee from The Man at Starbucks. Dig it: We free-spirited alternative types will use our java dollars to stick it to the man at Standard & Pours, a cool, locally owned shop in the basement at Southside on Lamar lofts. There, we can dream of a proletarian nirvana whilst perusing the pages of...The Wall Street Journal? OK, so maybe you won't find a copy of the commie-friendly People's Weekly World there. But your hard-earned dollars will help a small business in its legal battle with financial services giant Standard & Poor's, which sued the shop recently over alleged trademark infringement. You can take your stand while sitting on comfy couches, grooving to the occasional live music performance, sipping a silky-smooth house blend of joe and munching on a variety of delicious baked treats. Hey, even a revolutionary likes brownies--even the hashless kind. Besides, you can check on how your 401-K is doing while you strategize against The System.
Best Live Music Venue (Tie)
Sons of Hermann Hall and Dan's Silverleaf
The best music venues not only host shows but transform them, elevating a band or an artist to the top of their game with great sound and atmosphere. Sons of Hermann Hall and its kindred spirit in little D, Dan's Silverleaf, are two such venues. Both cater to roots-loving audiences, with frequent shows by country and folk luminaries such as Slaid Cleaves, Billy Joe Shaver and Ramblin' Jack Elliott, but recent memorable rock shows at both Sons (Constantines, Oakley Hall) and Dan's (Centro-matic's marathon 10th anniversary set) serve as a reminder of why we're always so excited when our favorite rock bands grace either stage. It seems we're not alone, either, as audiences at both venues are similarly enthusiastic, always ready and willing to shut up and actually listen to music--a lesson that chatty crowds at clubs such as Gypsy Tea Room and the Cavern would be wise to learn. Both joints also come complete with a set of colorful, musical and decidedly Texan regulars, a fact that only makes them stand out more from a crowd of local venues that simply can't compare.
If you're skeptical of all the hype surrounding professional poker these days, you're not alone. Watching other people play cards on television is about as exciting as watching them balance their checkbooks. Indeed, the whole concept of the poker face is to be as boring as humanly possible. But actually playing the game is a different story. When you're desperate to try to figure out what's going on behind those blank faces around the table, things are a lot more interesting. Now take that excitement out of your buddy's basement and relocate it to perhaps the poshest strip club in Dallas, the ever-popular Lodge. The Sunday tourneys are hosted by poker blogger Dan Michalski, but it's not him your eyes will wander to once you've folded.
Temporally and geographically, Dallas is not so close to the 1849 California mining rush, it being 2006 and Texas and all. But if it's gold-digging that needs doing, Dallas is definitely the "can do" city. Weekends see hundreds of poor, helpless, Gucci-unadorned boob jobs bobbing about Medici, Sense and the whole of Addison looking for a thick-wallet-wielding beau. But the best place in town to earn an M.D. (without, you know, enrolling in classes) ain't some fancy watering hole. If it's a well-to-do man in scrubs you need, the Elbow Room provides in abundance, since it's practically attached to Baylor hospital. Happy hour finds the Elbow Room rife with scrub-clad docs and nurses ordering liver-quenching brewskies. Strike up a conversation over a mutual love for drunken dart-playing or inebriated shuffleboard. Soon, you'll be picking out curtains with the surgeon of your dreams.
Deep Ellum: You stopped going because of the bar fights. And the teeny-bopper dance clubs. And the shady parking. But you started going again because of the Darkside Lounge. Wait, you haven't been to the Darkside Lounge? Guess that means you haven't been out to some of the best local shows, drinking some of the cheapest local brews and hanging out with some of the coolest local people. But that's OK. It's early yet, especially in the rejuvenation of Deep Ellum. Thanks to the Darkside Lounge, though, the neighborhood's regaining a little bit of that long-lost coolness. At Darkside, you'll find cushy Vegas-style booths for canoodling, a pool table for schmoozing and a good-sized stage for local band viewing. In fact, the Darkside Lounge's killer weekend musical lineups will probably be what brings you out the first time, but it's this venue's neighborhood bar-meets-scenester-lounge sensibility that'll keep you coming back.
It's not that the Dallas area is arcade-starved; you can find Golden Tee games and nostalgic cabinets at plenty of bars and restaurants. But if you want to make a day of it--immerse yourself in a digital candy land--every "amusement" destination in the region falls short, except for GameWorks. The national chain delivers local arcade salvation in the form of hundreds--yes, hundreds--of games and more new and recent titles than any spot in town. Pinball tables? Check. Skee-ball? Three varieties. A canoeing simulator? Sure, why not. Even better are unique attractions such as Sky Pirates, which launches players up to 25 feet in special chairs as they battle in virtual hot-air balloons, and the eight-man F1 racing kiosk with a live commentator who calls the action. So drop the kids off at GameWorks' Dance Dance Revolution station, tell them you'll be upstairs at the arcade's fully stocked bar and sneak away when they're not looking to perfect your canoeing skills.
When the XPO Lounge closed in 2004, loyalists scoffed at plans for the bar's future: "It's becoming a [insert obscenity of choice] tiki bar?!" The loyalists (and former staff) found new watering holes, leaving the bar behind for what they assumed would become a schmaltzy, preppy destination, but things didn't turn out so badly. In fact, the new ownership's stress on increased patio comfort has vaulted this destination into a prime spot for outdoor drinking: comfortable chairs (no wooden benches), tolerable temperatures, next to no insects and hip DJs spinning tunes at a low enough volume so you can actually hear your date. The tiki theme, eh, we can live without (save the whole emphasis on rum, anyway), but the ambiance is thanks to coziness, not hula dolls.
At the end of 2005, Club Dada was down for the count, knocked out by bumbling ownership and deemed another tombstone in the dwindling reputation of Deep Ellum. So how come it's winning this award and hosting big-name gigs (such as June's New Bohemians reunion) not even 12 months later? Because the new ownership--including members of Beatles cover band Hard Night's Day--has figured out how to make the joint appeal to two completely different audiences, making this the best rock bar across the board. Happy hour patrons and casual music fans are making their way to Dada to see the city's best cover bands (and some solid local original acts tucked into those schedules, no less) on weekends, while the kids are catching stellar out-of-town acts and local indie openers on such weekly events as New Music Tuesdays. Cheap cover and drinks help, of course. The separate crowds aren't yet holding hands and singing "Kumbaya," but if the right hipster band played that as a prog-rock song, well, who knows?
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