Tomorrow is SlurpFREE Day at (participating) 7-Eleven stores. Things are never what they seem though, OK? Sure, a store is giving away something free, but that doesn't meant it's mandatory flip-out time. Here are a few party tips:
1. You need to know, and strongly consider, that 7-Eleven is plotting world dominance by planning to open 630 new stores in the U.S. and Canada just this year (to the great fear of mom-and-pop stores across the nation).
2. Slurpees aren't really that expensive the other days of the year.
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3. Mario's has a secret ingredient in their Slurpees that makes brain freeze a non-issue.
4. If you're still set on it, know that each store only has a certain number of the 7.11 ounce cups for this event. And since it starts promptly at 11 a.m., consider an early lunch. Being May 23 does favor the workingman because the kids are still in school. Which is a point you should rub in their face if given the chance. ("Today, while you're sitting in first grade reading some lame book, I'm going to 7-Eleven.")
5. Don't let the "free" promotion guilt you into buying something else. Free is free. Stroll in, get your free Slurpee, buy nothing else, then, in an act of smug defiance, give them big eyes as you strut out.
Also, there will still be free Slurpees on July 11, as usual. The event this week is aimed at promoting a few of their new flavors, which we cussed at here.