NORFOLK, VIRGINIA--People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) announced today that Teppo chef Teiichi Sakurai, the top sushi maestro in Dallas, has made the animal activist group's list of the world's Top 10 Vegan Villains, faulting the chef's exquisite work with raw, hand-carved fish with triggering a sadistic sushi obsession among Dallas consumers. "Pigs wag their tails when they're happy, and octopuses collect bottle caps, attractive stones and other finds from the ocean floor and decorate their dens with them," said PETA spokeswoman Dawn Cabbage Lodge. "These animals have characteristics that are not unlike the average person's great aunt or even J. Lo. It's horrifying that Sakurai slices his delicious chewy octopus strips with one protruding suction cup rising from the center, subliminally and deceptively playing into the average consumer's Oedipus complex." Compounding the cruelty, Teppo has the cleanest, coolest, most tender raw fish packed onto moist and supple rice wads, Cabbage Lodge said. Uni (sea urchin gonads) is rich and freshly nutty; tuna is silky and tender; salmon sings with briny luster. Plus Teppo serves everything from beef tongue to quail eggs, making it a horror show of uncommon depravity, she added.
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