In Which Some Visitors From Paris Take a Food Tour of North Texas

We had some friends from Paris visit for a couple of weeks, and like most Parisians, they have … opinions … on the culinary arts. This includes but is not limited to how the food is prepared, how it is eaten, what goes with what, what’s trash, how it’s served, the temperature at which it’s served, which wine goes with it, how long the meal should take, how long something should cook, at what hour it is served and what should even be considered food for human consumption in the first place. These are just general points of contention and philosophy about food in general and don't even touch on their thoughts about cheese and wine specifically.

Of course, food is a personal thing; we all have our preferences and thoughts on the matter. As the Roman poet and philosopher Titus Lucretius Carus apocryphally stated 2,000 years ago, “One man’s meat is another man’s poison,” and he never even met the French. They just seemed to have taken food snobbery to a whole new level, and to be fair, who can blame them? To their credit, the French have greatly contributed to our elevated gastronomical discourse as well as our palate. Sure, the French may have given us pâté de foie gras, but Texas has bestowed Frito Pie upon the masses. That should count for something, right?

So during the course of their stay, we tried to expose our French couple to some typical American dishes, including regional favorites such as Tex-Mex and even some fast-food joints found in North Texas. They were good sports, polite as all get-out, not at all living up to the rudeness so stereotypically associated with their countrymen. Here are some of the results.

Tex-Mex
We took them to Mena’s Tex-Mex in farthest North Dallas for their first dinner out after they arrived, with mixed results. They absolutely loved the queso we got as an appetizer, which was kind of surprising considering how highly they value cheese. One would think a melted mess in a communal bowl wouldn’t pass muster, but they really enjoyed it.

Likewise, the margaritas were a big hit, launching a sort of quest during the remainder of their stay. Every chance they got they’d order a margarita, and it didn’t matter whether it was frozen or on the rocks: they loved them at Mena’s, thought they were terrific while sipping them outside at Boulevardier in Bishop Arts and raved about the versions they sampled at the Hotel Paisano in Marfa while on our road trip. Score one for tequila.
On the other hand, tacos and burritos were not for them. The French, you see, do not like eating with their hands touching the food, even if that which is touched is the bread or other edible container or conduit for the food proper such as a bun, pita or tortilla. No, they empty the contents of the taco or burrito or chimichanga of all its innards before then consuming them with a knife and fork, almost always leaving the bread component behind. They take their bread seriously, and, to them a tortilla is a poor excuse for bread. Next.

Fast Food
Of course, you’d think that they would despise fast food, but there were a few surprises along the way. They really liked Wendy’s, though the hamburger bun was relegated to the trash and the burger patty eaten with the aforementioned knife and fork. Still, they gave the beef a pair of thumbs up.

We thought maybe they’d like Subway, but no. Too many choices, and bread that may look like an honest-to-goodness French baguette apparently does not taste or feel like an honest-to-goodness French baguette. Quelle surpise.

The real surprise was Panda Express, which they absolutely adored. “Why don’t they have these in Paris?” my friend lamented after finishing off an entire order and going back to order more to go. Who knew fast, mass-marketed “Chinese” food would please a couple of Gallic gourmands, but it did.

Traditional American Cafés and Southern Homestyle Cooking
We took them to the North Dallas location of Norma’s Café, not really knowing what to expect. We had high hopes, though, because they went through a couple dozen eggs and a few rashers of bacon during the breakfasts at our home. We had to explain to them what hash browns were, and how to order eggs at an American diner (terms such as “over easy,” “sunny side up,” etc, surprisingly, do not translate well to French.)

We needn't have worried; they loved Norma’s. “It’s just like in the movies!” they excitedly proclaimed, and being really avid movie fans, they would know. I never really thought about how unabashedly American the diners in this country really are, and how often they’re depicted in popular films, but they are. There really is no French counterpart, either, though perhaps the bistro comes close. Norma’s has the extra advantage of offering up Southern cooking, and while they did not order chicken-fried steak, (there’s no way they’d order something called “chicken-fried steak," let’s be real,) they certainly asked us a lot of questions once ours arrived. The cornbread didn’t last too long, either.
Wine & Beer
We really expected them to be pickier when it came to wine, but at the end of the day, all that really mattered to them was that it was red. “The French drink red,” they told us. Confusion ensued as we wondered what chardonnay, pinot gris and sauvignon blanc were, then, but being polite hosts, we let that go. Life is too short to argue about wine, especially when we had several excellent bottles of French Bordeaux and malbecs to go through during the visit.
As to beer, it would seem that the craft beer revolution hasn’t made an impact on the French, or at least these French. We always tried to steer them to the local beer lists when we were out, encouraging them to order a Velvet Hammer or Temptress, perhaps a Blood and Honey, even, but no. The choice was always whichever beer most closely resembled Heineken, and never in a bottle, which they eschewed for some reason.

Food Trucks
After a morning touring the DMA we took them to Klyde Warren Park, thinking they’d enjoy watching families frolic in the sunshine while sampling what the food trucks had to offer. We went up and down the entire line twice, but nothing seemed to grab them. Finally, we all ordered some sausages from The Butcher’s Son. While we locals loved ours, let’s just say that our visitors didn’t enjoy having to eat without utensils.
When all was said and done, no one starved during the visit, and they were surprisingly willing to get out of their fine food comfort zone. Perhaps their favorite meal was our bon voyage dinner for them the night before they left at Terra at the Shops at Willow Bend. Terra serves some really good Mediterranean fare and was one of our go-tos for delivery during the early days of the pandemic. Thankfully the gyro plate is served with the pita on the side.

Still, they were probably glad to finally get back to the land of a decent hunk of bread, fresh croissants and cheese that doesn’t come in individually wrapped slices … and who can blame them? C’est la vie.