Best Intimidating Answer to a Legitimate Question 2008 | Marion Barber | Best of Dallas® 2020 | Best Restaurants, Bars, Clubs, Music and Stores in Dallas | Dallas Observer
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Best Intimidating Answer to a Legitimate Question

Marion Barber

The highest-paid running back in Dallas Cowboys' franchise history received a seven-year, $45 million contract in the spring despite starting just one game and never producing a 1,000-yard season. How's that, you ask? Because Marion Barber is a badass, forged out of muscle, menace and downright mean. He's the NFL's toughest, scariest runner, fueled by the disposition of a traveler about to check six pieces of luggage on an American Airlines flight. Proof? Barber made a habit last year of violently stiff-arming potential tacklers in the kisser. So effective, and so unfair, was the move that the NFL Competition Committee deemed it illegal for the upcoming season. Told of the league's new "Barber Rule," prohibiting him from going for opponents' facemasks, the Barbarian never looked up and immediately growled "What about the throat?" Shiver.

Best Local Daily Sports Columnist

Tim Cowlishaw

You can only chuckle at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram's Randy Galloway referring to Deion Sanders as "nine toe"—yeah, still—so many times, right? Cowlishaw has developed a definitive, authoritative voice as the lead columnist at The Dallas Morning News. Already with strong backgrounds in hockey and football, he even tuned up on NASCAR to the point where ESPN values his opinions on left turns. And, of course, his daily jousts on Around the Horn make him a bit of a cult hero in some frat circles. But most important, he's added some color—some pizzazz—to his daily writing. In describing the tribulations of Pacman Jones, Cowlishaw suggested the Cowboy carry no more than $10 in his wallet. "Pretty hard to make it rain in a club," he wrote, "with a pair of fives." Bravo.

Best Local Olympic Athlete

Nastia Liukin

We wanted to crown Duncanville boxer Luis Yanez. No, really. If you only knew. But it's hard to argue with the five medals— one gold, three silvers and a bronze—that the 18-year-old gymnast won in Beijing in August. Plus, the bouncy blonde from Parker, who trains at the same World Olympics Gymnastics Academy in Plano that gave us Carly Patterson in '04, will grace a Wheaties box coming soon to your kitchen table. Which is more than we can say for Yanez, who got temporarily kicked off the U.S. boxing team before being reinstated, only to lose. Gymnastics 1, Boxing 0.

Best Local Sports Radio Show

Dunham & Miller

Honorable mention to a strong debut by ESPN Radio's Michael Irvin, who lands news-making interviews with controversial subjects such as Pacman Jones and Josh Howard. Still, we can't reward a show whose co-host is homosexual. (Wink.) Given Greg Williams' departure from The Hardline, the most consistently entertaining/informative show belongs to George Dunham, Craig Miller and Gordon Keith, 5:30-10 a.m. on The Ticket. Over the years they've developed the perfect recipe for morning radio with tasty pinches of interviews with substantial sports guests like Jerry Jones, topical headlines via "Muse in the News" and heady, though sometimes Homerish takes across our sports smorgasbord. Editor's note: Your love life will greatly improve if you make time for the "Ladies Day" segment Thursdays at 9:10 a.m. Editor's note 2: You ladies are more perverted than we ever knew.

Best Local Sports TV Anchor

Mike Doocy

WFAA-Channel 8's Dale Hansen may have pushed our policy on term limits had his banter with weatherman Pete Delkus not deteriorated from witty to warped. Doocy has the advantage of batting first in the sports wrap-up show game each Sunday night, and more often than not he takes advantage with a solid, often spectacular Sports Sunday on KDFW-Channel 4. His highlights are comprehensive. His graphics are by far the best on local TV. He provides one-on-one interviews. And his popular "Open Mike" segment gives a voice to everyone from Steve Busby to Greg Williams. Furthermore, we know Hansen is secretly jealous of Doocy's perfectly coiffed hair. Actually, that's not a secret.

Best Maverick

Dirk Nowitzki

Last year he didn't push his team to the NBA Finals as in 2006 or win Most Valuable Player as in 2007, but the giant German is now and will be into the foreseeable future the heart and soul of the Mavs. Plus, anyone who bit his lip under Avery Johnson's reign deserves some sort of plaque, right? Nowitzki again was an All-Star and an All-NBA selection with his nightly 20 points and 10 rebounds, but his guts were better than ever. He suffered a horrific fall against the Spurs in March, seemingly breaking a leg or at least shredding a knee. But there he was less than a week later, willing the Mavs to a playoff spot. Never call him soft again.

Best Minor League Franchise

Frisco Roughriders

There are teams with wackier names (the Grand Prairie AirHogs) and teams that play in more obscure leagues (the Dallas Diamonds of the Independent Women's Football League), but nobody does small ball like the Frisco RoughRiders. There's a pool in the outfield, a cowboy mascot that rides a black horse, and the baseball ain't bad either. If you're looking for a night at the ballpark but don't want to watch the Texas Rangers, the Roughriders are a nice alternative. Plus, unlike some of those other franchises, you may see a future star in Frisco.

Best Owner

Jerry Jones, Dallas Cowboys

We suppose you instead wanted Tom Hicks? Didn't think so. Sure, the Cowboys' owner is asking for your family's DNA in return for a seat at his new Jonestown coliseum in Arlington, but you can't deny the guy's unyielding desire to win. This offseason alone, he paid about $70 million in guaranteed salaries to retain players such as Flozell Adams, Marion Barber, Terrell Owens, Terence Newman and Ken Hamlin. The Cowboys are profitable. The new stadium will no doubt be a financial windfall. But unlike Hicks, Jones reinvests his money in the team in an attempt to improve the product. And, who knows, he might even convince Mark Cuban to host a future NBA All-Star Game.

Best Place to Tee Off

TopGolf Dallas

We all know that golf is less a sport than a Zen exercise in patience, but who's got time for that? At TopGolf Dallas, you don't have to endure a four-hour, 18-hole marathon in order to get your duffer's competitive juices flowing. TopGolf is a huge complex that at first glance looks like nothing more than your usual double-decker driving range. But it's really the coolest way to practice your game. Here's why (and, bear with us, it's a new concept, after all): See, each range ball contains a little microchip inside it. When you buy a bucket of balls, the chip registers your name for each ball. The driving range isn't your usual burr-laden wasteland; it's actually a huge swath of targets, expanding in concentric circles out from different flagsticks. When you hit a target, you get a certain number of points, all of which are tallied up on a computer right next to you. It sounds confusing, but it's not, and it's damn fun. You are welcome to bring your own clubs, try out TopGolf's loaner sets or check out a new driver at the pro shop. The complex is enormous too, with meeting spaces, executive suites, outdoor misters, bars, a restaurant with an actual executive chef, a 54-hole Disney-scale mini-golf course...it is, really and truly, fun for the whole family. Oh, and one more thing. There are "caddies"—OK, really, they're hot lady servers—who'll bring you beer while you play. It's like being in a videogame. But with beer.

Best Player We Hated to See Leave

Devin Harris

As much as we respect Jason Kidd, man, we really miss the former Mavericks point guard of the future. Don't you? He was young. Had impeccable character. He was a one-man fast break. Sure he didn't hyper-develop like Deron Williams or Chris Paul, but you get the feeling all Harris needs to become an elite point guard is the addition of a jumper and the subtraction of Avery Johnson's handcuffs. Never liked the trade that brought Dallas Kidd in exchange for half its team and all its future. While Harris continues to develop as a New Jersey Net, the Mavs are left with a tiny window and an older, slower leader. Could be wrong, but giving up on Harris may turn out to be owner Mark Cuban's worst move since he climaxed The Benefactor with Jenga.

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