Whole Earth Provision Co.

Not too many years ago Whole Earth Provision and REI were great places to go because it was otherwise so hard to find a lot of hiking, paddling and general outdoor gear in Dallas. Now they're good to know about because there is so much outdoor gear for sale all over the place, and most of it is crap. The problem is that the outdoor recreation market has grown big enough to make it worthwhile to knock off everything from headband flashlights to dry bags, with the knock-off stuff selling at way cheaper prices. And that stuff is OK — maybe even a good deal and preferable — if you think you're suiting up for a single outing, maybe two, and then it's all going into deep storage anyway. But if you need to buy gear that will stand up to repeated beatings, then you should at least pay a visit to Whole Earth Provision. Sometimes the cost difference is less than you might expect, and the quality difference is almost always huge.

Central Market

If you need a lot of advice and guidance, you have to go to some place like The Cultured Cup, but if you sort of know what you're looking for in a loose-leaf tea or you know what you'd like to explore, Central Market offers a broad selection at fairly good prices. And this is not to say they don't have tea specialists working in the department. It's just that on busy nights you may have to hunt a bit to find one, and don't expect a long conversation. They also keep their tea department clean and tidy — a trick some other stores have never mastered. What is it about tea that makes it the grungiest department? But not at Central Market.

The British Emporium

Did you know one of America's largest importers of British goods is in Grapevine? Well, now you do. The British Emporium has every horrifying British food you've never wanted to try, from steak and kidney pie to prawn-cocktail-flavor chips, alongside a smattering of Doctor Who merchandise and pictures of the British countryside. You're guaranteed to find something there you have never heard of before, or even conceived that it could be a thing. After all, remember how famous British cuisine is!

When you're heating up the wok, head to Hong Kong Market for all the ingredients for dinner, plus some amazing entertainment while you shop. On one occasion, an Observer staffer went to check out what they were told was an amazing special on lobster. While waiting at the seafood counter, another customer in line ordered live catfish. The guy working the seafood counter fished out a catfish, but it got away from him and fell on the floor. Without blinking, he reached for the baseball bat that had been leaning against the wall, beat the flopping-on-the-floor catfish senseless with it, turned to the line and asked, "Anyone want half-priced catfish?" Not only do they have fresh produce and all the Asian dry goods you could ever ask for, Hong Kong Market will always deliver a magnificent, WTF-just-happened-to-my-eyes experience.

Orr-Reed Wrecking

Sooner or later you will tell yourself, "Yeah, this house is authentic and historical and all that good stuff, but I need to be able to open a window." As soon as you say that, you are off down the road to re-do Hades. The windows you've got won't open because they have been painted, nailed and puttied shut, and when you look really close at them they're halfway made out of old banana crates anyway. But as soon as you touch hammer or pry to one of them, you just made yourself a much bigger problem. Next way-station on the road to Old House Hell: How easy do you think it's going to be to find a replacement for that dude? Pause here. Before you pick up the phone and call the Jolly Roger Skull and Crossbones Carpentry Company to come out and build you new windows for the price of a Harvard undergraduate degree, go to Orr-Reed where you will find a wonderful trove of old windows carefully salvaged from old North Texas houses. Tell your problem to proprietor Hannah Hargrove. She'll probably take you to just what you need. Same goes for doors, lintels and anything else. Never have it made for you until you've checked with Hannah.

Kids of a certain age will never get sick of certain popular bounce-house venues. Parents, on the other hand, forced to haul their child to a party there every goddamned weekend, can barely choke down the bile. Enter Quiggly's Clayhouse. As its name implies, parties there involve clay — painting for the little ones, sculpting for the bigger ones — and fun. You will no doubt find your child's artistic creation precocious and adorable. More important, though, you'll be bathed in gratitude by your fellow parents for not dragging them to the bounce-house place.

Best Place to Explode Your 4-Year-Old's Brain

Legoland

There aren't many good reasons to drive to Grapevine. The best one, if you have a child obsessed with a certain brand of molded plastic block, is Legoland. It's a Lego theme park. With two million Legos. With a 4-D(!) movie theater. With Lego go-carts. It won't actually explode your kid's brain, but it will so inundate his senses that it will render him unable to muster the energy to outsmart you, at least for the rest of the day.

Baby Bliss

Do you have to go to a baby shower for a fancy baby? Go to Baby Bliss and snag all the expensive baby crap that fancy baby desperately needs. You want to spend 30 bucks on a onesie the kid will puke on in the first two seconds it wears it, and then immediately outgrow? Easy. You want to buy a $180 plush mermaid your new grandbaby will rip the hair out of? They've got you covered. The staff here is super nice and accommodating. Just tell them what kind of baby thing you want to spend lots of money on, and they'll point you in the perfect direction.

Sometimes, your kids are bouncing off the walls in your house, and you'd rather have them bounce off the wall somewhere — anywhere — else. At this desperate point, you make the choice to drive them to Jumpstreet. Jumpstreet is an "indoor trampoline park" (read: a warehouse space they lined wall-to-wall with trampolines), and is meant to be the perfect place for kids to jump out all that kid energy. What it really becomes is a place for kids to play a good game of "How Long Until I Get a Head Injury?" Something changes in the eyes of every kid who walks through the automatic doors here. They go primal. And there's no stopping it. Whether they're double-bouncing each other into the ceiling, begging you to let their not-yet-fully-formed-bodies ride the mechanical bull or vomiting in the bounce house, just remember: You signed up for this.

Galleria

The play area on the third floor of the Galleria is enclosed, with only one entrance/exit. It's carpeted. And it's full of squishy, rounded-cornered stuff for your kids to climb all over. The whole thing is even lined with a never-ending bench, so every parent has a place to sit. And it's free. You would think it would be the perfect play place. But once you walk through the entrance of this play area, it's every soiled-diapered toddler for himself. This playground is jungle-themed for a reason. Every single one of these kids has been cooped up in a shitty stroller for an hour while Mom shopped for lingerie — they deserve this moment to let loose. Just buckle up, get a seat by the exitrance (that's what you call an entrance/exit, right?) and hold onto your butts. Hope you brought bandages.

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